the whole truth and nothing but the truth...

i'm at job #only today. the mood is tense. i have been on some serious, serious reports before but nothing quite like this...

oh wait. that doesn't quite apply here.

so i'm working. work is a broad term, loosely applied in this case. because i have done very little today other than ogle the australian eye candy that appeared in the middle of the night and fluff my hair to look cute. (when in doubt, fluff. fluff a lot. it looks cute. those are still words to live by.)

so the other night i was attempting to call my parents. i pick up the phone and speed dial 5, because for the last bajillion years, that's been homebase. however, in a fit of romanticism and insanity, i changed speed dial 5 to speed dial baxter. wtf, i know, right? so la la la, i'm calling away. it rings. and i realize what i've done but it's too late to correct it. so i take the adult road and fucking hang up, like a retard. when will i ever learn?

i'm hungry for fruit. fruit i can eat with a spork.