weebles wobble but only chuck norris can knock them down

i woke up this morning to find a superhero in nigel's living room. i wondered if i was hallucinating - had the night really been that rough? nope. it was her son, dressed head to toe in a robin costume, complete with the eye mask and everything. it was moderately unnerving to find a little boy standing in the living room, not making a sound. but once i moved and he saw that i was awake, i got a 10 minute lesson on the teen titan video game and how the beast boy can morph into anything or anyone, even a dinosaur. that's right. even a dinosaur. i'm sure that information will come in handy one day...

i swear i was still drunk. it was a good night. red bull and vodka, sam hill's whores and i finally met mr. wantland's son! it only took like six months of myspace stalking and a two hour cougar story... but he's tight with the nadas, so maybe i can get a cd out of this? or a tshirt? because i love free tshirts. and i love the nadas. this could be a lucrative relationship.

well, enough liquid bravery and i conquered my fear and made the phone call. i'd like to say that i remember it but that would be a lie. because i remember nary a word. there are downfalls to drunk blogging but at least you wake up the next morning and can say, "dude, i really wrote that, i put that out there and people might read it..." whereas with drunk dialing, you're at the mercy of the person on the other end of the line to tell you what nonsense you spurted for 11 minutes and 35 seconds at 0226 on a saturday night. sometimes you get the full story, sometimes you get the reader's digest condensed version. neither is very good, usually. i'm an exceptionally affectionate and honest drunk; i think that may be a deadly combination.

so my goldfish has a sore. i'm not sure what it's from. it kind of looks like a pimple, but he'd be the only goldfish with back acne if that's really the case. so i have to treat the tank with salt for this condition, which means that i have to add 29-teaspoons of salt (because it's a 29-gallon tank) to the water every day for three days until the salinity reaches 0.3%. it's smelling kind of oceanic in my room now and my skins drying out. and furthermore this does not seem to be helping roger's "condition" any more than salt-free water. these fish will be the death of me, i swear to god.

okay. i'm going to bed now. i'm tired.