12 January 2007

at least my toe's not bleeding anymore.

what a fucking day. today i sought closure. i got nothing. i still don't know if i'm employed, if i'm on leave, if i'm among the dregs of the earth, longing to collect state aid and searching for work. my boss, the dragon lady, is a weak piece of shit. and if i ever find myself with her in a dark alley with a sharp object (or even a dull one, i'm not picky) i'm going to bludgeon her to death. or if she falls off a curb in front of my car, she's out of luck. i don't brake for ineffective managers. ugh. i'm off now until the middle of next week, at least, and i'm going to work on this educational leave thing. if not, i'm done. i think i said this yesterday and i was so frustrated today i almost took my keys and stuck them in between her eyes and told her i was finished (except she snuck out the side door and called me from her cell phone to tell me she was no longer in the building). so i'm going to take some time, calm down and see what happens. gahh.

but the day didn't start off well. the landlord-to-be called to tell me that her fax machine ate all the pages with my name on them so they would need to be refaxed. not an issue, as i was at home with my 47-in-one print-scan-fax-blend-wash-dry-iron-sweep-microwave-400-pound machine at my disposal. so i haul it out of the bedroom and set it up on the breakfast bar so i can plug it in to the phone jack in the kitchen. this thing has 14 cords and they're all 27 feet long so already you know this isn't going to be good. and it does weigh 400 pounds. so i walk around to get it all plugged in, wrap the cord around my foot and pull the entire piece of shit down on my big toe.

my big toe basically explodes. it's all bloody. the printer is making this weird "ehhhhhh, ehhhhhhh, ehhhhhhhh" noise because while my toe has broken it's fall, the power cord has broken off inside the little hole in the back. nice, right? it's fucking great. so i'm bleeding all over the place, trying really hard not to bleed on the shit i need to fax to the landlord-to-be when i hear this awful hairball-yakking sound from the bedroom. the cat is barfing. everywhere. i mean, my toe is really gross looking and i wanted to vomit too, but come on. this is getting ridiculous. so i'm bleeding. the cat's barfing. nothing is being faxed. the phone's ringing. my mom wants to talk about cheap impalas and i'm trying to fish the broken pieces of this power cord out of the hole in the back of my printer with my 50$ tweezerman tweezers when my tweezers spring.

come on. how much worse can this day get? let's review: big fucking bloody toe. big fucking bloody broken printer. bloody carpet. vomiting cat. sprung 50$ tweezers. unibrow. shoes that go squish, squish, squish because i threw away all my bandaids in a fit of rage because my friends can't stay out of my medicine cabinet. (you know you were snooping!)

and to top it all off, i still don't know if i'm (un)employed. holy hell.

there were some good things though. once the papers were faxed, landlord-to-be called and she's now our landlord. we got the house. yay! we have a garage (with no opener but the gran massa champ seems to think he can install that... lol) and i have two bedrooms. i also sold two more longaberger baskets today. i went out tonight with pals and didn't get completely inebriated for once but instead held a nice buzz. i love my friends. i love them so much i think i may come back down next wednesday night just to see them. :) i met bob's girlfriend, she's the sweetest thing ever. i think i'm going to go home to acapulco with ernie in march. i'm going to have to start saving my dollars. or get a job or something. i got to touch shane's butt and that was really nice. if it weren't completely unsanitary i'd restrain from washing my hand for a while. *sigh*

so i have to be at work in c-town in about six hours or so. i think i may see if i can push that back. i'm going to be tired. i'm tired right now.

peas out.

1 comment:

simonsays said...

I must defend myself, I was not the one that wanted to talk about cheap impala's......