what do you mean your washing machine isn't broken?

i'm not working today. well, if you want the god's honest truth, i'm not working any days anymore. which is kind of funny, in a demented sort of way. i was told that my goals don't align with the goals of the dealership i was working for. but truth be told, i was the only one in the department that set any kind of goal, personally or professionally. and i failed to meet those goals on the second month, giving them full reign to "let me go."

wow. i guess not having goals at all is better than having goals and not meeting them. but i digress. because none of that really matters now, and what can i do about it at this point. not a freaking thing. so it goes on the list of things that do not really concern me any more and i go about my business, which just now happens to include looking for work instead of going to work.

so this morning, i was in bed. it was late but i was enjoying the quiet. until a loud and repeated knock, knock, knock appeared at the door. the dishwasher repairman. who promptly started to disassemble the washing machine. wtf? my washer is fine, normally. look at the damn dishwasher. now he's telling me the reason that the dishwasher spits water all over the floor is because of the soap that i use. hmmm...

i wonder how much that job pays.

i stayed at my parent's house last weekend. the bee and i were not getting along, to the point that i just wanted a little peace and quiet. somewhere stress-free, where i could just sort of hide out and not be bothered. i sort of got that. he didn't understand the whole idea and still doesn't understand how he causes me stress. i guess i kind of wanted the time away to consider things, because the status quo doesn't necessarily have to be, you know? my mom says i'm asking a lot of someone his age - i didn't think consideration and kindness were things that you had to be going on 30 years old in order to give to someone or even understand, but maybe that's the case. i just want things to be right - for me, for him and for baby. because it's no household to be raised in where mom and dad are at each other's throats 24/7. and that's the way it's been. and you're right, it's been a stressful week. the dishwasher quit, i got fired, the holidays are hard. but i just need to know that i'm doing the right thing, that we're doing the right thing.

so while i was gone, i got, "i miss you, i love you, i want you here, i can't sleep without you here, i feel terrible." so i thought he'd be excited to see me. nope. he was asleep. and stayed asleep for several hours until i threatened to go eat dinner without him. and then last night he got "frustrated" with me because i told him that i really have no interest in sex right now. i look gross, i feel gross - it just wasn't a good time and i apologized. to no avail.

so i have no idea.

i deleted my myspace yesterday (another thing off my 101/1001!) and i have to tell you, it was sort of liberating. it's like a high school popularity contest and with all due respect, i don't need myspace to validate the fact that people like me. it's all bullshit. i'll admit, i got caught up in the "oh no, she deleted me" or "ooh, look who finally got a myspace." but it's an amazing time-consumer, or time-waster, really and i don't have the time or the interest anymore. so i'm done.

and now i'm off to look for work. blecchh...

i need a cliffs notes for captain jack sparrow.

okay, mom. you were right. i should have gone to the doctor yesterday. it would have prevented me being out on the roads with all the retards playing bumper cars (and trucks and vans) in the snow. so to the doctor i went, where i learned i have an inner ear infection and a raging, nasty cold. and because apparently you're not supposed to breathe without getting permission from a doctor when you're preggo, i mentioned to her that i'm having tremendously (not)awesome dandruff. i wanted to know if it was okay to use a dandruff shampoo. she just laughed and said, 'you'll be fine if you don't drink it.'

der.

however, she did say at my ob appointment next month, we should be able to hear the heartbeat or maybe even see a picture by ultrasound. won't that be amazing?

so this morning because i got caught up on the blogs i like to read. and it seems like no one blogs any more - they're all writing books that stemmed from their blogs. seriously - at least four or five of them that i link to have book deals. and several others don't even write anymore, which is even more sad. so i'm going to have to update my links. or maybe just take them down altogether. :(

tomorrow i work job #2. i haven't been there for a few weeks. this may be one of the last times i work there, and this time its not any choice of my own. the business has been up for sale for several months now and i believe a buyer is in the wings. i think that most people will retain their jobs, with the exception of my poor momma. it's hard to believe that everything happens for a reason when you're the only one that will be out of a job when the sale is complete - she's upset and rightfully so. but i can't help to think that maybe there really is a reason. we just don't know what it is yet...

and once again, i've accomplished absolutely nothing today. it's a trend that will continue this evening, i'm sure. we're watching the pirate of the carribbean movies. i understood the first one and the second one, but this third one isn't making an ounce of sense to me. this whole "davy jones' locker" thing is just weird. have you people seen this movie? i don't get it. and i can't even ask the bee, he's asleep. i think he's having preggo sympathy fatigue.

sunday ramblings

the christmas party for job#2 was cancelled last night because of the weather. which is funny, because by the time the christmas party should have started, the weather was just peachy and the roads were dandy. i think the open bar gods were frowning upon me, for some reason, i'm not really sure what that might be but apparently i was not meant to have free drinks last night.

boo.

so i ended up in chariton last night, since the party was a bust and i was bored as shit. i went out with nigel and snackmaster bob and it was a good time. i haven't been out forever and to tell you the truth, i wasn't 100 percent into it, i'm not sure why. i can tell you that i'm happy to be away from the drama and crap and bullshit that makes for small town living - it's just constant badmouthing and shit stirring and i listen to it now, having been away for over a month, and it amazes me that i cared at all. blah, blah, blah... i don't really care who's sleeping with whom and who's cheating on whom and and and... it's a bunch of crap and i'm better off not being involved. small town drama is contagious and toxic.

so i stayed with the bee at his parents house last night, sleeping on the living room floor, which does wonders for my neck. yes, this is me being facetious. because my neck hurts like ass today. although, it could have been the headbanging at the bar, because let's face it, i have incredible headbanging hair - always have. :) anyway, i was up at 0530 this morning because the bee and the manly group of animal shooters that are staying at his parents house were awake and leaving at that ungodly hour. sleeping on the living room floor, i was sort of in the way and i probably would have fallen back asleep if it weren't for the fourteen people tramping back and forth over me, stepping on my feet and hair, watching espn news at a volume that only compares to a rock concert and discussing their barbaric strategy for maiming and killing animals. so i left for home and went back to bed. i didn't wake up until nearly 1400 this afternoon.

have i mentioned how much i love sleeping in? granted, that's a little excessive, but it felt good. and it's not like i really had much to do today. i've cleaned house (that takes half an hour, tops) and done laundry. AND i made banana bread and ziti - it's been a productive day. woohoo!

tomorrow is back to work, back to normal. it's a new month with new goals. i'm not sure what to expect for this month as far as volume of calls and leads, so i'm not making any changes to my monthly goals. i can't get anyone at work to give me any sort of historic data on december sales and there is no historic data on call volume, we're creating that as we go along. did i tell you that the new girl at work just left for lunch one day last week and never came back? that made me laugh. but i could feel that she wasn't going to last long. and in the meantime, our original group of three just gets cattier and more cynical about ever finding anyone to fill the open desk.

oh! speaking of shit: the bird poop on the skylight is gone. it got cleared off in the rain yesterday afternoon. :D

i'm out.

look at me, i'm sandra dee...

lousy with... well, never mind. i'm in the mood to watch grease. i don't know why. i'm excited - i have internet at my home. i can blog again! woohoo!

i really don't have anything to write about, my day sort of sucked. i got chewed on by my boss, which i thought was completely undeserved, but isn't it always undeserved? we were crazy ass busy and in the middle of all of that, she wants to have a meeting to discuss ways to stay on top of our tasks and not get buried. i wanted to say that it would be most helpful if we could stop having these fucking meetings every four hours, but i didn't think that would be met with a warm reception so i just smiled and nodded a lot.

i got my car back yesterday. it still wasn't finished; there were wires not connected that had to be reconnected today at the garage at work, to the tune of 152$ that's being paid by the insurance company. i think my insurance adjuster is going to go postal on my body shop guy. i don't know who i feel more sorry for there; i'm just happy to have my car back.

when i do laundry, it gets foggy outside my front door because the vent from the dryer is just outside and the warm air gets trapped upstairs with the cold air from outside. i'm convinced that if i put a big bucket of water and a space heater out there i could make it rain on the steps.

that's power. that would be awesome. i am the janel, i can make it rain.

yeah, i'm out of stuff to talk about. going to bed now.

another rainy (wednes)day

the gray is starting to affect my mood. and not in a good "i-love-the-rain-it-makes-me-all-sappy-and-creative" kind of way. fuck that. nope, it's making me melancholy and depressed. i need some sunshine, people!

i want sunny days! i want warm! i want a beach! i want to go here! i've been to this beach before; this is kamaole II on the south side of maui in kihei.

*sigh*

i miss hawaii. :(

someday, i'm taking off for somewhere warm and never coming back.

it's been raining for a couple days now. it poured and poured last night - it sounded like the roof was going to blow off our tiny edbq shanty. i love sleeping while it rains. the dreariness today is kind of putting me to sleep. that and a lack of food. i didn't eat breakfast this morning, and i even have breakfast food and options. i just couldn't get my big white butt out of bed early enough to forage through the cabinets.

do you know how early i have to get out of bed to get to job #2? i'm supposed to be here around 0830-ish (although i never get here before 0915), which has me leaving the house at 0500. boys and girls, i didn't get out of bed until 0506 this morning. which doesn't have me arriving at work on time. :(

so this morning on my way to job #2 (which is about 200 miles from home), the roommate called and got snippy with me because his car keys are in my car. dumbass. i'm not the one that left them there, don't get pissy with me. but this occurred after i called and got snippy with him because our electricity was about to be disconnected and i found the bill in my car. wtf? it's no wonder i'm stressed and about to pull my hair out - he's not helping this cause any. boo...

i'm contemplating a serious hair cut. i'm wondering if it's too long. any thoughts, anyone? anyone?

bueller? bueller?

i thought as much. the rain has you all in bed today, doesn't it? i'm jealous...

i've got a case of the mondays ... on tuesday. wtf?

i've been sort of whiny all day. maybe i didn't sleep well. maybe i don't get enough lycopene or protein or potassium or [insert new fangled vitamin or mineral of the month here]. maybe, and this is just a what if, maybe i'm just cranky. i'm not proud of it, and i sure do need to apologize for it, but doesn't everyone get a cranky day every now and then? it's like a "case of the mondays" even though it's really tuesday.

i didn't accomplish much today; didn't get to a single thing on my list. and i really did have a list. no, i take that back. one item on my list was "find lost speeding ticket and pay it." well, i didn't pay it but i did find it. so i guess i accomplished one half of one thing on my list of things to do today.

yay me!

and i did laundry and i put it away, which is like an all day process. i don't know where my hangers go in between the time that elapses from when i take a shirt out of the closet and when i try to put a shirt back in the closet - they disappear. it's like hanger magic. or perhaps there is a monster that eats my hangers. but everytime i do laundry i have to search for my hangers, which turns into an all day process, as previously mentioned, because i have to go into the summer bedroom to find more hangers and then i end up getting sidetracked by the giant basket of shoes or the box of books or the open sudoku book or chasing the cats or something.

it is so hard to be me. *sigh*

my mom will be pleased to know that i did find the time to apply for jobs today. a couple that i found interesting - they're local to the dbq area - i'm not sure if that's good or bad. i guess it never hurts to look, right? i would be sad to give up my current job. i really like my current job and the benefits that accompany it. and the people aren't too bad, either. but i must do what i must do, right? right.

this is really boring. i'm boring myself here. that's a bad sign. i think i'm going to sign off for the evening before i get really snarky and start writing what i'm really thinking about.

gnite.

omg, we lost an aircraft.

'have you ever wondered...?'

'hypothetically, what do you think would happen if...?'

if i never hear those two statements again, life will be good. the gods at work must have drawn my number because i'm working long shifts with the station idiot lately. and gump, she's a goddamn genius, texas-style, let me tell you.

prime example: lately, the tsa has been conducting random aircraft searches. that's fine, whatever, just don't make me late. so today, station idiot pulls up the flifo (departure/arrival time and notes) for a flight and notices that there is a delay on this particular flight due to 'aircraft search.'

i swear to god, this is what she said:

'does this mean they can't find the aircraft?'

i about wet myself, i was laughing so hard. it was classic, even better than the 'that's not a penis, that has to be cauliflower' line.

i'm still giggling about this.

to go or not to go?

i work in a couple hours. i'd rather be sleeping. but i'm off, supposedly, at 1900 if all goes as scheduled. i'm supposed to go out with a few people from work this evening but i'm just not feeling it, i don't know why. it'd prolly be good for me but after last weekend's shenanigans, i was just sort of looking forward to a nice quiet weekend at home. besides, they go out in cid and then i have to go home to dbq, and the drive sucks sober, i can only imagine how much fun it is after a drink or two.

(mom, i'm kidding.)

it sounds like i'm looking for excuses and i probably am. to go or not to go?

i need someone to ease my mind

friday the 13th. all the wackos get on planes on friday the 13th. add that to tornadoes in dallas and we've got the makings of an interesting day at work. i purposely pissed off half a dozen people tonight just because i wasn't in the mood to be of any assistance. isn't that terrible? i was just crabby and really for no good reason.

one of my all-time top five favorite questions that a passenger will pose: why isn't my bag here? generally, i'll commiserate with them, 'i know, you were in ord for a good 26 hours and we still managed to miss your bag.' today, i had no sympathy and i flat out told someone that if i could get to the root of the problem as to why certain bags wouldn't be loaded in spite of a three hour layover i certainly wouldn't be a lowly bag agent in fucking cid taking their fucking claim. he didn't have much to say, but i thought i heard, 'what a fuckin' bitch' as he walked away. and then he came back, claiming his parking ticket was in his bag and what was i going to do about that? i told him that he was going to get in his car and drive to the parking people see what they were going to do about that because i'm not the one that packed his parking ticket in his checked luggage. fucking morons, all of them.

i hate passengers. but keep flying my airline because i need a job. a job that takes me places i want to go, i want to see...

work, work, work. i can't get used to my new schedule and the fact that i'm supposed to be sleeping semi-regular hours. i'm just not able. if i have to get a real job, i'm in real trouble. because i can't seem to fall asleep before 0100, expcept for last night and i was asleep at 2100 except for snackmaster bob calling to verbally abuse me because he's a retard. i mean really - yes, i relayed your concern and perhaps i shouldn't have, but it's not me yelling and screaming and carrying on and getting your dumb ass kicked out of your own house.

for the love.

i'm kind of tired. i'm going to bed. i have to try to be up at a "normal" hour tomorrow. ew.

i want to wear the gold medal... naked.

welcome back, boys and girls. it's been a while. have you missed me? don't lie. you know you missed me. i've missed me and i've been with me all weekend. and what a weird weekend it was. i could tell you about it, but i don't want to harm innocent parties. i don't even really want to harm the guilty parties...

but it was fun. so did i tell you that my schedule at work got changed? yeah, it did. and i was fully aware of it but for some reason it didn't sink in that it was taking effect last saturday. so last saturday i was three hours late for work. after the warning my adorable boss gave me that one more occurrance would be my last occurance and most likely my last day, i was happy to learn that ignorance and illiteracy are not cause for an unexcused absence and i'm still employed. at least i think i am. i guess i'll know for sure when i try to go to work on thursday.

so saturday, i worked for three hours, drove back to so. iowa for three hours and got my drink on... a little more than usual, even. it was a messy, messy evening. but it was a fun evening. bacardi and cola and (a few too many) southern hospitality make the janel an interesting girl. interesting to hang out with, interesting to talk to, and definitely interesting to find in a truck at 0400 in the morning. but such is my life and the lives of those that choose to hang out with me...

sunday, i woke up to like 17 missed phone calls because my phone had been on silent and so had my alarm, which means that i also overslept and woke up in a panic. got to work, napped in the parking lot and woke up realizing that i'd lost my license and my debit card the night before, but retracing my steps i remembered where they were and who to contact to get them back, even though that's a little weird because he's got a wifey that answers the phone. ('yeah, hi, i'm the superjanel, and i used to go to school with you and i hated you then and i still don't really like you, but can i talk to your husband? i think he has something of mine that i left in his truck last night when we were out drinking until dawn and i'd like to get them back...') yeah. that makes for good conversation. in southern iowa, those are grounds for murder. i've prolly got a hit out on me. damn it. thanks reent.

sunday was a long day. hungover, tired as crap, couldn't wait to go home and go to bed. but i did make it through my downloaded episode of the office, which was great, because how often do you really get to hear someone say 'i accidentally cross-dressed today.' i'm going to try that out on someone.

monday. monday morning i drove back down to c-town to work job #2. not a very interesting day, pretty slow. gran massa and i managed to piss off my mom beyond recognition and i realized that not every one appreciates my sense of humor. and i know not everyone appreciates the gran massa's. (just apologize, dude. just do it.) so i'm still feeling bad about that. monday afternoon i drove to the dutch village of all that is holy, misspelled, hidden back in the back of the closet and fucking overpriced, with nigel and her crew. ate ice cream and cheese with snackmaster bob and then went to see roberto and his new pad, which is adorable and i cannot wait to sleep on his sofa! monday night i talked to baxter and told him about the dream of the century i had the night before. holy crap, i can't even think about it right now because i'm supposed to be all presentable and stuff... LOL. just a few more days. i'm so excited! :D

tuesday. today. got a phone call from my momma at quarter after one this morning. she wanted to know where i was, she was worried. i don't generally laugh at this type of thing, it's not good to worry my mom, but it cracked me up because i was upstairs sleeping in my old room. got phone calls at 0300, 0330, 0415, 0500, 0600, 0630 and 0700. not even phone calls i wanted (there are some people i'd talk to at any hour - sleeping or not, but this is not one of them). someone wants to know where i am - at that hour? are you kidding me? dumbass, i'm sleeping and i wish you were too so you'd quit drunk dialing me in the middle of the damn night. gahhh! go home and beat your wife, isn't that what you're supposed to be doing after you've been out all night - not calling me to tell me weirdo things... i just want my driver's license back.

spent some of the morning on the phone with my attorney. boys and girls, i've got an announcement to make, are you ready for this?

~*~*~*~i'm officially single.~*~*~*~

yup. done. over. no more. i'm keeping the last name because no one can pronounce or spell my old one, but sistas, i'm out. i'm done. i'm free. and it feels good. it feels really good. on my way home from work tonight i have to stop and sign one piece of paper and then i'm finished. it's been a long time coming but it's for the best. do i harbor bad feelings? meh. not really worth it. takes to much energy to hate someone and i'd rather spend that energy on other things and other people. i feel great about this. and then after i get home tonight me and the roommate are tying one on in honor of my newfound freedom. woohoo!

and then i'm going home and drunk dialing my .... friend. :)

what do you call someone in a situation like this? friend is the only thing that seems to make sense and even then, it feels a little.... weird. i don't like my friends this way, you know? i'm leaving in a few days for the big "meeting" and i'm nervous as a whore in church about the whole thing. but it'll be fun... i'm really looking forward to this. it's time to meet new people, try new things, see new places.

except for canada. fuck those canadians and their bacon.

i'm out kiddos. off to find things to do.

love,

superfreakinfinallysingleandi'mheadedtovirginiajanel

xoxoxoxo

i'm [not] lovin' it. at least i don't think i am.

who knew a car ride and free breakfast could lead to such lofty goals? really. what are the chances that the one morning i'm awake before 0800 (0723 to be exact) and i ride along to take willie to work that i end up with a job offer? how weird. i don't know what to do. i think if i take it i'll have to become a morning person. we all know how well that works for the superjanel...

my cell phone like froze last night. just locked up and looked all ganked up. i was not happy. my cell phone is my life. what would i do without a cell phone? i would be so bored...

there's a goldfish at petsmart i want so bad. he's yellow and i think he weighs about six pounds, he's that big. i'd need another tank for him if i got him. but i'm poor at the moment so i'm going to have to hold off.

next week, i got mids at work. ew. what's up with that? i barely have the seniority to work here, much less work mids here. i'd prefer to work nights.

boys and girls, i need to go to lbb. the station idiot has come back from a small vacation and she's got the mouth of a sailor and the stories to go with. anyone up for a trip to lbb? :D she cracks me up. she's a genius i tell you. smart things the station idiot has said this evening:

• that can't be a penis. that looks like cauliflower.
• you know barbara streisand has never had sex, right?
• i don't think i want to get married. my husband might get injured and become impotent and then i'd have to cheat. but i'm going to marry a rich doctor, so i guess it would have to be an accident with a scalpel.
• if i lost 15 pounds i'd work at a strip club. (you'd have to see her to truly appreciate this. 15 pounds off her left foot, maybe.)

call or don't call...? these are the things that i ponder as i sit and rot and wait for my last ord flight.

i can't get anyone to go drinking with me tonight. anyone up for cocktails?

sunshine i'm just bored, i'm just checkin' out...

i'm tired of driving. it's all i do anymore. drive, drive, drive. it's a bad thing when you're so used to being in a car that you have to really put energy into concentrating on the road - shouldn't that be the first concern of someone behind the wheel of a car? not for me lately. i talk, i sing, i dance, i read, i eat, i drink - everything but pay attention to the road. i am a menace in a rendezvous. look out, fellow highway cruisers.

today was job #2 today. i enjoy job #2 because it gives me a chance to spend time with my mom and generally other family members. like today i saw jordy laforge and steph, i haven't seen them in a while. and nigel, i got to spend time with nigel. i miss these people! i get my minimum recommended weekly dose and no more. i fully expected to be in trouble, as much as a 27-year-old human can be in trouble, i guess, by my mom for going to canada in the middle of a snowstorm in april in a car with no insurance. yeah, that sort of happened. and then we had a talk. a good talk. she wonders why her children have no common sense, but i think most of that comes with life experience and the rest is bullshit and timing. it's something you can't self-apply - kind of like self tan lotion. you need someone to tell you if you have any glaring white spots that you just can't see yourself. common sense is the same thing - while you have the basic comments, you need someone to come along and fill in the holes and even things out. for me, that's my mom.

finally got my taxes done. i procrastinate even on things that could potentially benefit me. not that it did, but it could have...

do people ever surprise you? because sometimes they surprise the holy shit out of me. i'm talking about several situations/conversations that have occurred over the last few days, all revolving around people in my life.

one... i tried to do something really nice for someone today; i tried to make a dent in a hurt that this person had indicated had bothered them for a long time. i was met with no enthusiasm or response and now my feelings are hurt. isn't that dumb? my feelings are hurt because my friend can be insensitive? there's something not right about that.

two... i came clean in the proverbial sense to another friend today about a situation that lingers over my head for just a little bit longer. i feel better about airing this but i feel bad for dumping it onto an unsuspecting person's shoulders. i guess that's one way to find out how big one's shoulders really are... the nice thing was that my friend didn't get all zinged out, didn't call me names and actually related that he is somewhat of a normal person as well. it's good to know.

three... it's nice to be trusted. it's a nice feeling when someone seeks you out to share their day and their experience and lets you know that they trust you.

i need to go to bed. i'm considering turning over a new leaf and i tend to think that this happens before the afternoon newscast. i've set an alarm. i'll let you know how this goes...

canada, here i come...

i'm still at work. boys and girls, it's like, o-dark-thirty and i'd like to be home, in bed, with visions of terrance and philip and tom green in my head, but alas i'm still sitting in ops, waiting on a fucking plane full of 49 pissy people and a not so cute fo that's not worth looking at to even make up for my inconvenience.

the nerve!

so look at my horoscope for monday...

"A conversation could take place today between you and a love partner that makes you both very, very happy, Janelle. The status of your relationship is likely to step up to the next level, and you should both be more than ready. A tip, however: let your partner do most of the talking. At times like this, you're going to want to express everything you feel, but right now, it might be better to listen. "

hmmm...

the furbies have faith, more than i. or maybe they know something i don't, after all they are furbies and they do know. they know everything.

only like, 27 more minutes until the plane gets here. yahoo.

i've got nothing to do today but smile...

holy crap, batman. it's april. where did march go? it should come back, because i spaced off getting my tags renewed and now i'm officially driving on expired tags. now i have to drive like a normal person, at normal person speeds and pray that i don't get pulled over and if i do i have to play female and dumb. wtf?

so today, because i'm unable to get my lazy ass out of bed at a decent time and get ready for work, i was running around like crazy trying to get out the door on time. it didn't happen. so when i got in the car and hit the button for the garage door, i apparently didn't give it enough time to fully open. because i put ugoff in reverse and promptly ran right into door.

i am so cool.

yup. it made quite a clamor, which kind of made me laugh. the door continued up, i continued out, and i got out to assess the damage. my poor ugoff is short a few parts - i tend to think they're mostly cosmetic - which i found in the driveway. i even put one of them back on, that's how much i rock. and i played with the door and made sure that it goes up and down.

and it does. it kind of shimmies a little bit, but it's fine. so i got back in the car and threw it in reverse, because this whole driveway-cleaning-garage-door-assessing-ugoff-reassembling ordeal took about 10 minutes and i was already late from watching the weather channel because i heart the words thunderhead and low level moisture (shut up, i don't even want to hear it) - anyway, i threw it in reverse and backed my little buick ass right out of the driveway and into the path of an edbq police officer, who was patrolling the neighborhood for rampant ruffians, hopefully the ones who stole the shit out of the garage, the little bastards.

omg. i think that's all one sentence.

he slammed on his brakes, i slammed on my brakes. i got the finger wag and he flashed the cherries, so if the neighbors didn't already know that i'm retarded from watching me run into the garage door, they now know i'm an idiot from watching me almost hit a cop.

and all this happened before work even started.

oh. em. gee.

and think, my day only gets better from here.

i get to work and it's like, tornado-ing outside. it was great. so me and my compadres, the ones i like, anyway, all pile into an empty (metal) bag cart to watch the storm. wind, lightning, thunder - it was great. until we got blasted with a 70 mph wind gust that lifted all the leftover sand from last winter into the air. until today, i'd never experienced a sand storm. but it sucks. it sucks a lot. in fact, i'm still picking sand out of my freaking scalp. and then the sideways rain. and then the lightning so close it made all our hair stand on end and we sort of realized that we were sitting in a metal bag cart, and rubber wheels or not, we trucked our stupid butts indoors.

and left three planes full of people to sit. because we're not going to work flights with lightning in the area. it was great. two flights were supposed to be there, the third was an okc diversion, trying to get to ord. and the captain was a bitch ass bitch. and if i hear the phrase, 'i don't want to end up on the cover of usa today' anytime in the near future i'm going to freak out and punch a goddman baby, you hear me?

so our tornado-producing storms moved east, and sat in ord for hours which delayed our last fight and i got home at 0300. no april fools, sistas. that's the god's honest truth.

i love my job.

so. i'm feeling a little better now, getting that out.

now for the fun stuff.

baxter's voicemail cracks me up. the chick that gives me options (which is a rant in of itself, options on voicemail. i just want to leave a message. shut the hell up) i have named sheena. and she sounds hot. i talk to sheena a lot, almost as much as i talk to baxter, really...

i doubt he'll be accompanying me and the gran massa to the visit our neighbors to the north. i think he feels more responsibility towards his work/life than i do and therefore doesn't call in sick to do fun things. and that's cool. i've not known too many people like that, but i've heard they exist... they're a rare breed.

now me? i call in sick every chance i get. ooh, is that a twinge of a headache? yeah, um, mike, i'm not feeling so well. oops, i stubbed my toe. yeah, um, mike... except that this gm has a serious hard-on for perfect attendance. little does he know that i have never had perfect attendance anywhere, anytime. so he and his perfect attendance can suck my nut.

...if i had one.

but it'd sure be fun to have baxter along for the ride...

canada: that's like only 29 hours away. we better get there when it's light outside and i can see shit. if i get there and it's dark and looks like here when it's all dark, i'm going to be upset. because i can stay home and experience dark, damn it. this had better be exciting. i want to see something canadian. i don't know what. maybe tom green. isn't he canadian?

yessss.......

okay. i'm going to bed now. i have to work tomorrow. it's my friday! yahoo!

oh, if you're interested, i found the mango. it wasn't smooshy. and some socks, that i don't think were mine, that was a little weird.

in the dark when there's no one listening...

today on my way to work, i passed a maroon cutlass supreme filled to the brim with senior citizens. (if you're on the up and up with pop culture, you'd have said sanka. do you remember those commercials? i must have watched a lot of television as a child. but anyway.) this car must have had eight old people in it, crazy full. crazy wack funky, it was.

old ladies, old men. all laughing and carrying on. all wearing hats with giant brims and sunglasses and scarves, windows down, living it up like they were teenagers. the rearview mirror was hanging from the windshield at an angle that was impossible to see out of.

i don't know if they were high or if the car was full of carbon monoxide, but it made me smile. well, it made me smile after i swore at them to get the hell out of my way, crazy old fuckers. and then i smiled. because they were obviously quite happy.

if i make it to senior citizen-ship, i want to be that happy. or oblivious. or high. whatever. it was pretty stinkin' cute.

although i don't understand the sunglasses. it was pouring down rain all afternoon. maybe they were blind... ?

work has been crazy. dfw has been blasted with bad weather the last couple of days and that is seriously ganking my chi. ugh. don't they know i just want to go to work and do as little as possible? seriously. stress is not good for my complexion.

monday, the gran massa and i, and possibly baxter, if he concedes to a couple days off from work/getting up at the ass crack of dawn, are driving to canada. why? what's so exciting about canada? nothing. except i've never been out of the country and i'm going to photodocument my trip across the border.

that, and i fully expect to find terrance and philip from south park waiting for me on the other side of the border. cold air, customs agents, and terrance and philip, in that order. i even have a picture of what this event will look like.see? that's me, in the background. it's obviously quite windy in canada, because my hair is all zinged out. and i'm not dressed, i'm not sure why. i guess nude is the new black up there, but don't hold me to it. and since you can see that i'm nude, i'm obviously quite tan, which is a little far from the truth, currently since i'm pretty much clear. maybe that's a picture of some other naked frizzy haired chick named superjanel... hmm. i'll have to look into that.

i guess we're driving up, going to mc donald's or something and driving back. yay for 16 hours in a car. :) it's possible that only one of us will return... hehehe...

i'm kind of tired. i think i'm going to go to bed now.

do you think i talk too much?

i know, i know.

drinking + blogging = dangerous territory.

if i've said it once, i've said it a bazillion and twelve times. "i'm not going to do that again..." yeah, that works out real well...

oh well.

work, schmork. i went, i conquered, i ROCKed that place. and now i'm going to go rock the laundrymat because that's how i roll.

i just like to roll in clean clothes, as opposed to dirty ones. so i'm taking my quarters, my powerade, my nichole ritchie best selling "novel" and my dirty grundies and i'm OUT.

love,
superfreakindoesn'tknowwhentoshutupjanel

you gave me too much room so i filled it up with chairs...

it was amazing today. it was a little on the windy side, but it was gorgeous. the kind of day where you don't really want to work, and you'd rather spend the day outside, not really doing anything, just enjoying the sunshine and the blue sky and the warmth.

i don't work ramp. and i even went outside today.

it was that nice.

and the sunset was great.

i couldn't focus on work. my mind was other places today. i don't know why. i didn't sleep very well last night; it was that restless kind of sleep where you're just seconds away from waking up all night long. do you know what i'm talking about? but i don't think that had anything to do with my lack of concentration today. sometimes i seriously think i suffer from attention deficit disorder.... and then other times i think i'm just a hypochondriac. :)

so today i think i got the first obligatory phone call. yeah, i'm not digging that. call because you want to, not because you know i want you to. there's a big difference there and i can sense it. i'm beginning to wonder if this little trip is such a good idea. ever since the topic was brought up, conversation has basically ceased. hmmm... conincidence? prolly not. so i guess if i ever get (or make) another non-obligatory phone call, this will have to be discussed. because i'm not making a trip under such ... conditions.

the thing is, i do this every time. i hold back, i pretend i'm not interested. and then when i finally decide it's okay to be interested and it's okay to be me, i've missed the window of opportunity.

que sera, sera, eh?

meh.

the doll is making plans. again. as she's finished with beauty school, i don't know what her excuse for not going will end up being this time. we're talking cun or sju late in april - sunshine and beaches and tropical drinks, all inclusive. this time, i'll sell my left kidney for such a trip. i've been so good lately, i deserve it. i'm already wondering where my slippas are...

and lent will be over... (you're not even catholic! i can hear nigel already...)

oh, tomorrow is my saturday, how i love my 'saturdays'. and i have things to do! people to see! i'm kind of excited! it's a mini road trip, it's not canada or anything, but it's out of town and that's always nice. and it's not even out of town to go to work, that's even better. :) i'm going to go see my aunt and my cousins. and i have to register my car in this god forsaken state and get a new license. which means i have to find my passport and my social security card and another form of id. and i have stuff to mail and i want to get a haircut, but that's prolly for another day because i can't bear the thought of cheating on my lovely courtney at bella...

i fear change. and i used to be so organised. what the hell happened to me?

i'm making friends at work and i find that i enjoy the company of one coworker immensely. i just wish i could change his name... if we're ever going to hang out outside of work, i'm going to have to call him by something else. that name just isn't going to cut it...

tonight on my way home i rediscovered the band belly. do you remember them? early 90s, kind of indie, alt-country-pop. i loved it then, i loved it now. some things never change.

[insert catchy title here]

i'm at work. we don't have any planes for another hour. and so i sit. i'm mentally preparing for the assload of bags that is due to arrive any time, via truck, from ord. i work for an airline - and our bags are arriving by truck. do you see the problem here? there's a big difference between planes and trucks, namely wings and wheels.

i love ord. more than words can describe. it's the end all, be all of airports in this country. and i am at its mercy more often than not, tonight included.

boys and girls, that's called sarcasm. i told you to google it last time. by now, dear reader, you should be well versed.

i didn't get my phone call last night. i was sort of bummed. i realise that my phone dials out, but i wasn't going to call that late last night. i don't like calling that late, i feel bad. so i called today and left a message; i told him i'd call tonight after work. and then i said maybe i won't.

remember that scene in 'along came polly' where polly leaves ruben the voicemail and she's like 'maybe i'll see you there. or not. i don't even know if i'm going. whatever. goodbye.' my message was sort of reminiscent of that. i laughed when i was done talking. lol...

ugh. work. i should go pretend to care for a while...

it's friday!

yay me! just a few more hours and then i don't have to work for a couple days...

i'm happy dancing all the way to the shower this morning...

i will come at you like a spider monkey, old man.

people never fail to amaze me. just in general. they come to the airport, they've packed everything but the fucking kitchen sink and their common sense because they ask some of the stupidest fucking questions ever.

and their behavior? only acceptable at the airport. how many other public places do people yell at the top of their lungs and curse and carry on? and group mentality sets in if you have more than two people. if you have two people and one of them is being an ass, then generally the second person will commiserate with me, the berated employee. but if you have two people that are being asses they can sway the opinion of the whole group and then you've got a mob scene on your hands.

and a mob scene that's missing bags can quickly turn into a mêlée. now i enjoy a good mêlée from time to time. but tonight i was in no mood. so when i was confronted with a screaming man and his two bottles of broken rum and his "what are you going to do about it? and where's my fucking luggage?" attitude, i prolly went about answering in the wrong way. and for that, i was called every name in the book and will probably get a nice letter of commendation in the mail, addressed to my supervisor and detailing my compassion and helpfulness.

that's fine. go ahead. i don't care. fuck you. don't come at me like a gorilla in heat holding a box full of broken glass dripping rum on my fucking shoes and maybe, just maybe, we can converse like adults. until then, back the fuck up and watch your fucking mouth, you overgrown heathen motherfucker.

now, as far as your lost luggage? i'm going to smile so sweetly and tell you that it will most likely arrive on the next flight and we'll get it out for delivery just as soon as possible. i'm lying. don't listen to a word i say. because your shit is on the fast track to guam, bitches, and it's going to take weeks to get it back.

oh? you packed all your souvenirs in that bag? and your car keys? oh no... that's really too bad.

i'm here to help you. so don't fuck with me, dickhead.

ugh. somedays i just hate people.

tomorrow is my friday. and only 20 more days until good friday.