everybody just stay calm

ahh. now that i have a few seconds, do let us sit back with our morning tea and scones and reflect on the day that was yesterday and the nightmare that is going to be today and tomorrow. cuz boys and girls, it's going to get ugly. i just have a bad feeling... but maybe it's just indigestion. i hope. so anyway. yeah. whatever. i forgot to tell you that the teapot and plates are packed and the scones are really poptarts. i'm drinking milk from the container and i can't find any napkins. doesn't this sound like fun?

hoo-fucking-rah.

so as long as i have your attention, can i tell you about my night/morning?

exhibit one. take a look at the first two photos. the top photo is how i would like to spend my morning. hot tea, flowers, blueberry scones, a good book and morning spent in bed. *sigh* however, as you can tell from exhibit two, this is how my morning is being spent. milk from the jug, pop tarts and inquisitive cats. this is mason. he approves of my breakfast, in case you were wondering. and yes, he's on the kitchen counter. he's bigger and stronger than i am and i'm tired of fighting with him about where he can and cannot stand and i will not have this argument with you so shut the hell up.

i busted ass last night (and again, that busted word. i'm still not sure of the proper usage there but i like the redneck way it sounds.) and packed the holy shitzky out of this place. the closets are empty, all the books are packed. the only things left are random soap bottles and shampoo and shower curtains and kitty toys. i'm pretty proud of myself, as far as this is concerned. i have thrown away so much crap - i can't even begin to tell you. really. i should have done that a long, long time ago. it would have made the last move soooo much easier. i've decided i'm going to be done with sentimentality. it gets heavy, literally and metaphorically. i'm going to strive to be one of those people who has few personal belongings, you know? one of those people who can just pack up and go. those people prolly don't have cats though. or 200 dvds or a trash bag full of (clean) underwear. hell. i just set this goal and i'm failing already. gahh.

but on with the show. will the jury please look at exhibit two. this is the janel's empty closet. just 12 hours ago, this closet was overflowing with shit. well, not literally shit, but close. i have an abnormally large number of sweaters (that are almost all the same color/style) and sweatshirts and t-shirts. the hanger bar was sagging and on the floor was a gigantic pile of shoes and underwear. now, as you can see, there is nothing. (that's mischa leaving the closet. it has passed her inspection.) almost all of this is now in my car. that picture will be posted later. but for now, guess what the janel is living out of currently. yup, it's that poor green suitcase. again. that poor green suitcase that's been everywhere, lost and beaten up by countless airlines, at one point filled with shampoo. yup, that's my closet now. isn't that awesome? i'm so excited.

want to see more? i've got more.


this is my dining room. if you look close, you'll see my bookshelf, my vacuum cleaner, some books, a clock, a whole lot of boxes and some toilet paper. if you follow the superjanel's blog on a regular basis, you're thinking the same thing i am: "does that guy ever leave the bathroom? what's he living off of hot pockets?" lol. to the left of the toilet paper in the photo, but you can barely see it, is the printer. i decided to move it rather than throw it off the balcony. i don't believe in littering. today.



this is my poor, sad, empty refrigerator. i have some soda, which doesn't taste very good. i have some cheese (yay!) and some fruit (that's spoiling as we speak) and some pineapple (which in it's plastic containers has a nuclear half-life and will never spoil) and some pickles. there are also jalapenos and some chocolate. i guess that's some sort of meal. there is also a bottle of bailey's which i have pondered heavily in the last few days as my friends test my patience. i have a ton of liquor in this place. it's a wonder i'm not an alcoholic. no, seriously.

this last picture? this is me. i was delirious at this moment. i don't know. check out the pocahontas braids. that's hot. and i went out in public like that. nice.

so you may be wondering, superjanel, with all this going on, why are you sitting at home now, blogging and sharing these wonderful photos? ha. well, in fact i've been asking myself this same question for about an hour now. i was up at the ass crack of dawn, which for me rolls around at about 0730. me and the gran massa champ had planned on leaving our respective posts at 0830 and meeting at a preselected spot on the interstate so he could lead me to my new home which i cannot find. except that after i'm cleaned up and after i've been outside and after i've started to pack up my car (which technically i started to do last night at about 1am), he started texting crazy things about boobs and fish with wings and i don't know what else. apparently the first day of school is the day of school to miss and he's going to take some time to pack, which he should have been doing last night but instead his cartman shaped ass was playing warden of the world or some shit like that. ugh. frustrated? yes. homicidal? no. drunk? i wish. and it's only 0940. this is going to be a great day. i just wanted to share my morning with you.

i hope you got tea and scones for breakfast. my poptarts were phenomenal.