10 February 2007

wah, wah, wah... bundt pan

sometimes mixing friends and family is bad. i mean, i've heard people talk about how their parents hate their friends or vice versa and any interaction ends in verbal warfare or bloodshed. see, i've never really had that experience. well, not since the sixth grade the time my grandma attacked alyssa king with a lint roller because the chick was covered in cat hair and gram wasn't about to let her sit at the dinner table looking all hairy and gorilla like. but anyway. i've never really had that experience. my friends all love my mother. they always say things like, 'i wish my own mom could be like that.' and i'm all, 'like what?' and they all say the same thing here: 'i don't know. like that.'

friday, yesterday, momma and markus came up to see my new abode (a word that makes me think of alyssa king...always) and school and city and me and celebrate the fact that i am thirty minus three. they took me and the grand massa champ to dinner at a local mexican eatery. i guess to understand things fully, you're going to need a little bit of background. let me give you a 13-second update, just to get you all sorts of caught up. one: the gran massa champ is gay. we're all aware of this; this is not anything new. two: markus believes that he is cute enough that not only gay men want him, but all straight men do too. three: markus has a very quick wit, a sharp tongue. people either get him right off the bat or they never understand him. mumbling doesn't help. so, these factors plus margaritas make for an interesting evening.

you know, i don't even remember how the actual exchange started. i don't even know where it came from. but it ended with the gran massa asking markus to go camping. and i've known markus for almost 15 years. but the look on his face was priceless - not to mention the fact that his steak fajita just about fell out of his mouth (which if you know markus at all - that never happens). his quick-witted comeback, after about 15 seconds?

'i saw deliverance.'

i have never laughed so hard in my entire life. this was funnier than anything i have ever seen. i choked on chips and salsa and margarita and snotted on my coat and my drink and my shirt. i was in tears. OMG.

so. what else is new? i am addicted to lily allen, almost in a bad way. she's adorable. i want to talk out of the side of my mouth and say men'al health. fun.

i bought a new fishtank. it was a steal of a deal. ha. i got two new fish, too. bernadette and otto. i can't decide if bernadette is dead or just lazy. she's a celestial eye goldfish, and she was lazy in the tank at the fish store, but there was a bit of an accident with the fish on the way home. i'm okay, uugof's okay, but i had to brake really fast to avoid hitting this dumb bitch from (of all places) WISCONSIN (i swear those people can't drive) in a white grand prix and the fish bag slid off the passenger seat and on to the floor at sixty miles an hour. fish don't have airbags and i didn't think to use their seatbelt. i know. i'm a bad fish mom. :( so i don't know. i'll give her a few more hours and then go poking around and see if she's dead. but yesterday i thought she was a blackhawk down and then she just perked up. so i don't know. my first fish death will traumatic, i'm sure.

last night i got up at the ASS CRACK of dawn - fuck, it wasn't even dawn, it was the middle of the fucking night - to drive the roommate to work. now you're probably saying, 'that was nice, why are you complaining? that couldn't have taken that long.' well, you don't even know so shut up and let me finish. the gran massa champ doesn't work in this city. he doesn't even work in this county. he works 8 counties away - he works in dsm. that's a three hour drive. (...just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip...that started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship...). i got back into town in time to eat breakfast with momma and markus (where no food fell out of his mouth) and then i went to bed at like 1100 and didn't get up until 1800. i'm not going to sleep tonight. which is too bad. that also means that i didn't make it to the laundromat - and i'm not going at night because that place is scary enough during the day. so i'll have to find other things to do tonight.

okay. i'm bored. peas out for now.
love, superfreakinwhydon'twehaveanym&msjanel

1 comment:

simonsays said...

Oh Heavens, you make me laugh! And I was there! xoxo