13 August 2006

my friends

in the last couple of weeks, i've reached out to a lot of people. by nature, i'm not a needy person and i detest asking for help. but lately, i've had a lot on my mind and it's hard to keep it all in. so i've turned to some people - some really off the wall people - to try and make sense of it all. and i have found that i have some really amazing friends. and some really not-so-amazing acquaintances, but let's focus on the positive for right now. in the last few weeks, i've had more offers for emergency room trips, girls nights out, shoulders to cry on, basements to live in and beds to crash in - i just know some incredible people and that is such a great feeling. even though i have moments when i feel like i am among the most ignored person on the planet, i am fully aware that i have people who love me. *sigh* it's good to be the janel. now, about those people that are not-so-amazing, i've found that they pretty much just all around suck and there's not a thing i can do about it. so i've stopped caring, or at least tried to. but it's hard to take rejection from someone who claimed to be a friend and really wanted nothing to do with you than to fuck with your head. but what do you do? you chalk it up to being naive and learn to keep your mouth shut, no matter how much it hurts.

so. stepping down from that soapbox, let me tell you about my ass. it fucking hurts. i have such a bruise where i got my shots the other night - i look as though i've had my patootie kicked by a midget. it hurts to sit. it hurts to stand. i have to sleep on my stomach. owie. :( and just in general, i am covered in bruises. my job kicks my ass everyday. i am black and blue in places that luggage should not reach but apparently does. but isn't there a saying about pain building character? maybe it was scar tissue, i just don't remember. :)

houseguests. i suck at having them. either i'm turbo-freakaloid-bitch and i scare them away or i'm distant-never-around-cold-shoulder-bitch and then i think i still scare them away. i can't win. the houseguest that has been present en la casa de la mason since tuesday is actually not that bad, but then again, i wasn't around for most of his stay. someone had to go out and earn money to contunue to make the housepayments for this joint. oh, wait, that's not me either. hehehehe... anyway. the guest was nothing short of highly entertaining. i've heard more cheap trick than i believe the average person should be subjected to in a week's time. and i've been asked some interesting questions. but as of today, the guest is gone, the room is eddy's and the f.w.p. is sleeping in his cage again. the world is right, as right as it's going to be right now.

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