this whole thing is going to give me an ulcer. but he's gone until late tonight, so i get to sleep in the bed, as long as i get there first. i can't imagine he'll try to join me, how weird would that be. i just want out. i want to go away. i want this whole thing to go away. i want to be done with it all. and then i want to run away and join a convent. or a circus. whatever.