23 July 2007

janel mc fibbypants, yes, it's me

okay, yeah, i know. i know, i said i was done. i know i said i was taking my blogging business elsewhere. i know, i said i was tired of the hostility and crap and blah, blah, blah... you know what?

i lied. yes, i fibbed. turns out its only been four days and i'm back. dude, i'm kind of bored. i know. but i gots nothing else to do with my time other than entertain you poor souls.

so here i am. besides, you know you missed me.

so, okay. i haven't been online for like the last three days. part of the reason being that i bought the new harry potter book - i'm a little ways into it and it's pretty good, btw - and i'm terrified that i'll stumble upon the ending accidentally. and i want it to be a surprise. i mean, i'm (sort of) an adult (i don't want to grow up, i'm a toys r us kid - i could sing you the whole song, me and geoffrey) and i have a pretty good sense as to what's going to happen, but I DON'T WANT TO KNOW BEFORE I TURN THE LAST PAGE. so if you know, do me a favor AND DON'T FUCKING TELL ME, OKAY? thanks.

ooh. looky what i got...

the kittehs believe this is kitteh salad.

aren't those just awesome? yup. i got flowers last week. last wednesday. from the king bee. total surprise, he had them waiting for me when i got to his house. i know, say it with me: aww... yeah, it was pretty sweet of him. so what is "this" turning into? um, i dunno. and i'm not being an asshole when i say that. okay, well sort of i am, because i am just an asshole. he keeps introducing me to people that seem to matter to him, like his parents and his brother and (soon to be) sister-in-law and nephew and grandparents and friends. and i'm all, 'yeah, you'll get to meet my moms sometime...' and i guess i'd introduce him to my friends if i had any. (yeah, that was a joke, yo.) so i keep getting weirded out by the fact that he's younger than i am. we're not talking like, pederass younger here - it's only five years. but it's still strange. we don't seem to have a lot in common but we have fun together and i like him, he makes me laugh. and that's good for now, right? right.

i just fed my fish because i realised i haven't fed him in about a week and a half and he's getting a little lazy, which in the fish keeper's world is code for starving to death. and i think i overfed him. by about six pounds of fish flakes which are still floating in the water. i can hardly see the damn fish anymore. his fish food smells like salmon, which i think is weird, because who knew that goldfish were cannibalistic?

there's this girl that works at the whippity dippity and her boyfriend, soon to be husband (i'm not sure who to feel sorry for there but i don't really care because i get to go to the bachelorette party and dance on tables, woot!) is a city cop, one of the dutch village's finest. yes, the same dutch village where everything is holy, overpriced, freshly mowed but not on sunday and stuck in the back of the closet. but anyway. it cracked me up to know that in order for a cop to carry pepper spray they have to be pepper sprayed themselves. (hells yes, where can i sign up to pepper spray some pigs? bacon, bacon, bacon...!) but this is what really cracks me up. apparently this particular copper copper crime stopper has a squirrel problem in his garden. so he spent his day off in a lawn chair, in said garden, waiting for said squirrel, holding said can of pepper spray, so he could attack the squirrel with the pepper spray to "teach it a lesson." those are some big dutch dollars hard at work there, my friends.

so i am in love with the movie kung fu hustle. and now i must see more kung fu. must. like, MUST. so on my days off this week i'm going to go get me some more kung fu. suggestions? anyone? anyone? bueller?

okay. i'm tired. and there's a myspace survey calling my name. peas out, biznatches...

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