06 July 2007

sting doesn't know shit about me.

otherwise he wouldn't recommend such shitty movies. if it's called "peaceful warrior" shouldn't it be about indians or something and not gymnasts and nick nolte? wtf? i didn't even watch it and i still feel cheated.

it's interesting to see people you knew a long time ago in their present lives. it's like you forget how people change and how their lives change. without trying real hard, i can easily picture libbeth in the setting in which i last saw her and my mind keeps wanting to place those old labels on her new life. but miss madeline is no longer the baby and dick is no longer in the picture. but i can't seem to separate the old from the new.

i have to admit, she seems to have things together in this life that she and her husband have created and i'm just a little bit jealous. maybe jealous isn't the word, because i don't wish her any harm or anything like that, jealous makes me sound upset and i'm not. maybe envious? that doesn't sound quite as negative, at least in my mind. i'm envious of the happiness she has and the life she's created. i'm sure it didn't happen overnight and i know it wasn't without previous turmoil, but things have turned out well for her. and i'm happy for her, really i am; it just makes me a little sad for me that my plans didn't turn out as expected.

i talked to king bee about the conversation we had the other night; well, sort of i talked to him about it. he acknowledged that he remembers what he said but we didn't really discuss it after that. i'm still at a loss as to how to respond, i know i like him but i don't feel that strongly about him. why does this always have to happen? ugh... now he'll probably forget me on sunday night on purpose. :(

oh well. that's still several days away. maybe i'll just pack up and move in here. then i won't have to worry about any of it.

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