choosy moms choose jif.

i don't know anyone named jif. i swear.

i can't even begin to tell you how relieved i am. it's ridiculous. it's ridonkulous. it's fucking awesome. woot! because i don't think i want to live anywhere cold all the time. king bee called about 1030 or so; i'm not going to hold that against him. we watched big trouble in little china last night, or at least we did until he fell asleep and i couldn't take the snoring anymore and then i left to go home.

i have the worst headache right now. which is funny, because i have headache medicine now. but it makes me sleepy. i could sleep right here if i could get away with it but the god damn phone keeps ringing. don't these people know that i'm sleep deprived and overly stressed? holy crap. assholes and their broken shit, anyway. take it somewhere else, we're only going to break it further.

tonight is the slumber party. i'm going to buy an expensive bottle of something yummy and take a big straw and be a bottle hog because if there were ever a day that i were entitled, it's today, you bastards. because i say so.

libbeth and the kids have me hooked on this electronic game called 20Q. it asks you 20 questions about something you think of and then guesses what you're thinking. the one that they had was awesome - it was dead on like 98 percent of the time, that thing was freaky smart. so i went to the target and bought me one, the super deluxe smarty pants version, right? and this thing is as dumb as a box of rocks. i have beat it with items as simple as a fucking football. wtf? i'm going to go get the regular one next and leave this one on a street corner somewhere.

this is like the slowest day ever. remember the sandlot? "fffoooorrreeevvvvvvveeeerrrrrrrr....." that's how long this day is lasting. kathy just got back from a six hour lunch and it's only 1345. i think i may die. i've read sports illustrated and people, i know all about paris' jail ordeal and her hair extension line, and there aren't even any good surveys on myspace. maybe i'll go take a nap.

shh... don't tell...