will somebody answer the phone?

i'm tired of listening to it ring. my phone rings a lot. i mean, seriously - a lot. i don't answer the calls that i don't know. and even when some people i know call, i don't answer. i really, truly dislike talking on the phone... with most people. i'm a much better communicator in person or via text message. and i don't text like a 12 year old either. i can spell.

i just can't capitalize.

no work for me today. well, no work at the whippy dip. i spent the afternoon at job #2 (which isn't even my job anymore and certainly not job #2 because technically there isn't a job #1 or even a job #only) taking pictures for ebay and answering the phones, making spreadsheets and just causing trouble. it's been a pretty good day.

i have sad news for you. well, it was sad for me, anyway. roger, my all-time favorite goldfish and my first ever goldfish and the entire reason i bought that godforsaken tank and all the shit that goes with it - well, roger died on sunday. roger had dropsy and i couldn't cure it. and it's not for a lack of trying, let me assure you. i spent more money on medicine and treatments and salt and filters and airstones for that fish - and he still ended up dying on me. now i am left only with norman, who sort of has a fu manchu moustache thing going. he's cute but he's no roger. if and when i decide to purchase a new fish it will be named fluffy because the idea of a fish named fluffy just cracks me up.

so this last weekend i dropped my phone in a cup of captain morgan and dr. pepper. now it shuts itself off if i set it down too hard and some of my ringtones are corrupted. and it even sort of smells like dr. pepper. i've cleaned it out; i've taken it apart and let it dry (as much as dr. pepper ever dries); i'm considering reporting this damage to my cell phone insurance company for a new one. they're going to be all, "didn't we just replace a phone for you?" and i'll be all, "you have no idea how often i lose things. talk to my bank: i've lost 5 debit cards in 3 months." and that will be the end of that.

yeah, that debit card thing is not a joke. i don't do well with debit cards, licenses or cell phones. maybe i should wear a fanny pack where ever i go...

ooh, that would be hot.