i have a problem. i need some advice.
i've been posing this conversation in my mind for the last few days. not quite sure how to broach the subject, don't even know if the other party is willing. but i've got to get it out or it's going to explode out, like vocal vomit.
and that won't be pretty.
so, since my options for communication are somewhat limited, i have to have this conversation via the telly. and i hate the telly. i really do. i don't know when this change occurred, but i'd much rather have this conversation in person. even over im or email.
when did my life become so personal? or impersonal?
but that's a topic for another day...
so here's the way it's playing out in my head. are you interested? you don't have to be. nothing like reading someone else's internal conversations. good lord, that makes me sound a bit psychotic or melodramatic or something, doesn't it?
"hello, crackhead. do you remember me? yup, me. i'm the one that named your voicemail and talked to you all hours of the night about all sorts of crazy things. i'm the one that you said you wanted to see, to meet - so on and so forth. it's been awhile since i've heard from you. at this point, i'm kind of hoping you've fallen in a river or gotten struck by lightening. i'd almost feel sorry for you if that were the case, almost. it would be easier to feel sorry for you if i'd received some sort of communication, letting me know that you were barely alive, hanging on by a thread, a shard of life still coursing through your veins - a message, a telegraph, whatever. but nope. not a word. but anyway. thanks for getting me all that vacation time in may. i'm going to fill it up with people that are interested in seeing me. have a great day, life, eternity. love, the superjanel"
i don't think that will produce anything positive, though. and i'm not really looking to be mean. let's try again...
"hello, it's the superjanel. i haven't heard from you in six days and 12 hours - is everything okay? are you alright? i've been worried. you should call, write, fax, visit. i'd still like to see you, or at least hear from you. you can call whenever, where ever - i'll always answer. i miss you. okay. call later if you want. or not. i'll prolly call you back later anyway. okay. i'm going now. love, the superjanel"
i think i hear a tinge of desperation in that one. let's try again. third time is the charm, right?
"hi, it's superjanel. i'm not sure what's going on here but i haven't heard from you in a while. i don't know whether to be concerned or what i'm doing with all this vacation time i have coming up. i guess it would be nice to hear from you either way. hope you're doing well and maybe i'll talk to you later? we can discuss what a bitch barry bonds is, if you'd like. no pressure. love, the superjanel"
that may be the best one yet. version 3.0 is scheduled for release this afternoon, i do believe.
thanks for all your support, readers.