no, literally. fruit flies.

last week, me and the roomie went to moline and ate free pizza. and then we bought fruit. four pieces of fruit. two star fruit and two mangoes. (mangoes? mangos? i think its mangoes... wtf. anyway...) when i brought said bag of fruit in the house, there were only three pieces of fruit.

i thought maybe the gran massa was hungry for a mango. whatever. i don't care.

i mean, they did look pretty good.

and everybody wants the mango, even j.lo. check that shit out. wait, that's not the right mango.

so i asked him. and he's all, nope, i may be a fruit, but i didn't eat any.

hmmm....

that means that there's a lone mango rolling around somewhere in my car.


so now i'm a little concerned. pretty soon, this mango isn't going to smell very good. it's going to get all smooshy and soft and like melt in my car (kind of like m&m's, which don't melt in your hand, but melt in your car, isn't that how the saying goes? no? well piss...) and then i'm going to have fruit flies.

in ugoff.

now i realize that i'm not an avid car washer/vacuumer/cleaner/accident-avoider (hehehe...), but i don't want a car full of fruit flies.

this is unacceptable, private pyle.

unacceptable.

i'm thinking i should call that cop from two weeks ago and be like, you found my white hot tizzies cd and my mom's beer bottle - can you do me a favor and find my missing fruit?

no? such is the mango...