09 March 2008

yoohoo! i'll make ya famous!

i'm not a big horse fan. i mean, i'm not a big fan of horses. i guess i'm not a fan of big horses, either. fuck it. i'm scared of them. bastards are big and bitey and just plain scary. plus, they can run my ass over and the janel does not like that. truth be told, 78 percent of the population can probably outrun my ass but not with the intensity of a horse and not with big metal shoes and therefore i do not find that 78 percent of the population as frightening.


we're watching "young guns 2." have you seen this? i have not. and i can say that even after watching this that i still haven't seen it. because i'm not paying a bit of attention even though i claim to be multitasking. westerns aren't really my bag, homeslice. once charlie sheen died in the first one, i was all, oh hell no, and consequently found something better to do. like read about how emilio estevez almost went bankrupt while writing "bobby" in 2006, which is another movie i didn't see. that was definitely time well spent. because that will most definitely be printed on a trivial pursuit bankruptcy edition sometime in the near future and i will rock that game like a motherfucking hurricane.

yeah, so anyway.

i'm pretending to watch "young guns 2" and all i see is horses falling down every time a gun goes off. do horses really fall down all that often? how could they have been considered a reliable source of transportation if they were always falling down? think about all the horses used in wars and battles and shit - around all those guns and cannons and junk. how did anyone ever stay upright? how did anyone ever win anything? we are lucky we aren't a nation of elves riding on the back of snow leopards wielding 10-pound potato sacks and bamboo stalks if horses are so weak in the knees.

imagine a nation of snow leopard riding elves fighting a war against a batallion of weak-kneed and apparently top-heavy horses. that is a one-sided battle if i ever heard of one.

no. i'm not on drugs.

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