13 January 2008

my life is so exciting... when i'm asleep

i've been having the most vivid and bizarre dreams lately. events and people that seem so real that when i wake up i have to convince myself that it really didn't happen. it's so strange. i've always had really wacked out dreams - i can remember some of my dreams from when i was a kid - but these are like seriously 110-percent zinged out. i dreamt i'd gone back to work at the airline, only to get fired when they found out i was pregnant. i dreamt that my friends were really car thieves and i had to go with them or they'd kill my mom's dog (wtf?). i dreamt that an employee of my mom's was kicking me in the stomach (really, wtf?). and then i have silly dreams, with people i don't know personally, like celebrities and things. and strange food dreams, like the one where i was drinking loads and loads of diet soda, fully aware that i'm not supposed to be drinking diet soda because of the aspartame or whatever.

now that i look at those, i guess there is a theme, isn't there? (well, except for the one about my mom's dog...)

the last couple nights, however, i can't seem to get into a dream. reason being that i'm getting nasty and belligerent texts from the bee in the middle of the night. always just after the bar closes, i can tell, because they're generally rambling and mostly incoherent, which if you've ever seen the bee when he leaves the bar at closing time (if they haven't asked him to leave beforehand, which does occasionally happen) you'd know that he's pretty rambling and incoherent. it used to be that at that point he'd get in his truck and drive to where ever he wanted - home, another party, my house. but since his dui he's become the poster child for hitching a ride or walking. sometimes i can't help but feel sorry for him. he was a barfly before we got together, and if we stay apart, well, i guess old habits die hard. drinking yourself into oblivion most nights of the week just sounds like an awful way to live and he's better than that. he deserves better than that. but his defeatist attitude gets in the way of him recognizing that and no one but him knows how he should live his life. just ask him.

it dawned on me last night that there are no pictures anywhere of me and the bee. i wonder what that means. i guess its just less i have to put away when i go home...?

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