i asked the bee to leave. he didn't go quietly or quickly - in fact he was apparently quite surprised by the request. he said awful things, terrible things, about me and the baby both. i hope they were said in anger; i'd hate to think that he really meant them.
i only have a few days left in my apartment. i'm not going to be able to live here anymore. it's not a surprise, it's something i had to come to terms with before i could ask him to leave. i'm back to driving to and from the big city, something that hopefully i'll be doing on a regular basis before long; something that doesn't last forever.
i didn't cry, i don't feel like crying. i'm just sort of numb. unfortunately, it's not going to get easier in the near future. but it has to get better.
i'm going to fill the fishtank and take off for the parentals. even though it was my idea, i just don't feel like being alone tonight.