don't smoke crack

i wrecked my car last night. this is a secret, but i was texting with one hand, driving with the other hand and sort of watching the road. out of the corner of my eye, i watched this little red car - that was driving a pathetic seven miles an hour - weave in and out of the right lane. so i went to go around him and pass him in the left lane. he came with me and i ended up junking out uugoff on the median at the intersection of fleur and wakonda. it was neat fun. two rims, two tires, two axles, a front bumper, a door, blah, blah, blah - it's great. it's spectacular. it's fanfreakingtastic. my poor uugoff. his front bumper is just sort of hanging there, in a sad little frown. he's fucked. so i called brent to come get me. it was an entertaining drive home, especially the part where he ran over the antelope-size deer in the highway and dragged it underneath his car for the better part of 150 feet. he screams like a girl. we spread deer guts all over marion county, it was great. his car smelled like ass. so we went through the car wash, like, 5 times. and then we discovered that the source of the smell was antelope pancreas stuffed in the undercarriage of the car, which the car washes missed. so we used the hose in my driveway to get it out. so i have rotting deer flesh in my driveway. it's great. it's splendid. the entire evening was a trip. the thing that cracks me up about the whole night is his insane need to document everything. i have a bad feeling that me and my wrecked car will someday end up on myspace or youtube for all the world to see. :(

i'm getting another tattoo next week. i'm going to hawaii next week, did you know? hehehehehe......