15 December 2007

don't flick the service workers.

more snow. eww. the thing about snow, living up here, is that people just freak out. seriously. i don't mind driving in snow - light snow, heavy snow, whatever - but i like to do it when there aren't too many other jackasses on the road. and living in what is referred to as a "metro" area, i am perpetually surrounded by jackasses. so my drive to work, generally clocked at about 16-20 minutes, becomes an american gladiator-style caged rumble match that lasts at least half an hour. and we don't have nearly the snow they're getting back home. we have like an inch on the ground - and seriously, you'd think it was an all-out freaking blizzard. people are so strange.

so i have this pen. it's a regular ballpoint pen, with the button you push on the end to make the pen part come out. except this pen, you push the ballpoint thing and the thing comes out and then goes right back in. it's not a trick pen, although i'm finding it about as frustrating. what's really funny about this pen that will not stay up or out is that it's a cialis pen that i swiped from the doctor's office. so maybe it is a trick pen. hahaha...

last night the bee and i had to make a trip to tar-jay. i ♥ tar-jay. generally i go in there for one thing, like soap or something, and come out with 200$ in absolute crap that i don't really need. (the same goes for waldoworld, but i don't talk about that because just talking about waldoworld makes my blood pressure sky rocket.) but anyway, we went to tar-jay because i need a bra to sleep in. (do you guys know how much my boobs hurt? i mean, hurt. we're not talking like pms-"oh, i'm sore" type pain, we are talking "omfg, it hurts to lie down, it hurts in the shower, it just plain freaking hurts.")

anyway. so the bee and i are in the intimate apparel section of the store, and he's snickering because he's in the bra section and there is this rack of maternity and nursing bras. and those are the most comfortable looking things i have ever seen in my life. no joke here, they look soft and warm and comfy. they're not much on the attractive side, mind you, but in this kind of pain, i don't really care. but i couldn't' bring myself to purchase off that rack - instead i bought some sort of sports bra, some boob-crushing thing. and then, i forgot them in the car last night. so i'm just as sore as ever. but i'm thinking i'm going to go back today and exchange it for the really comfy looking one and just not think about the rack from which i'm buying it.

and smells. let's discuss smells, shall we? i've always had what i consider an overdeveloped sense of smell; ask nigel. i can smell her farts before she lets them. but last night, our indian (dot indian) neighbors were cooking. and then smell was just permeating our apartment so bad with the scent of curry, i couldn't take it. it was making me vomit. i have a poor relationship with indian food and the scent of curry anyway, but this was absolutely repulsive. we had to leave for a little while (hence the trip to tar-jay) to escape it. and all the while, the bee's like, 'it's not that bad, i don't know what you're taking about, i don't smell anything.' thankfully it was gone this morning when i got up; i don't think i could have handled much more. and its not like i can go over there and knock on their door to tell them their food is making me yak. :(

oh! and dreams. let me tell you about some of the bizarre dreams i've been having. i dreamt that my brother and i were in new york, eating at a quizno's. and no matter how many times i tried to tell the guy behind the counter that i wanted a salad, he kept insisting i wanted a cheeseburger. (it was almost reminiscent of the billy goat cafe - "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!") so because he wasn't listening to me, i was growing increasingly frustrated and took it out on him by flicking him in the forehead with my index finger. it was a nice, solid thump. but he was so distressed that he called out his manager, who apparently in the state of new york has the same power as a judge and jury, and i was sentenced to time in jail for flicking the service worker. how fucking weird is that?

i'm at work. it's incredibly slow and i like it that way. i'm going to go get some ice. (out of the machine, not off the parking lot.) i'm off in a few hours, which is not good, because the bee and i are headed to chariton to have a sit down with his parentals. his mom still hasn't called him back since she blew up at him the other day. pretty good parenting skills, eh? yeah, i'm definitely impressed.

okay. i'm out.

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