02 August 2007

i ain't gonna work for no soul sucking jerk

day two of living in a license free zone and i've never had more bonehead ideas of things to do and places to go in my entire life. this is god's way of punishing me for driving too fast. god and the department of transportation; who knew they were in cahoots? i don't really want to go far, i just want things like pizza. and to make a bank deposit. and to go to walmart. stuff like that. last night i drove to king bee's house to watch cinematic adventures and my mom had me so freaked out i drove seven miles per hour the entire way home. seven. i could get pulled over for driving so far below the speed limit - and wouldn't that be a perfect ending to the lead-foot-janel-speed-racer story?

truth be told, as long as i'm not speeding, i'm not in serious fear of being pulled over. as long as i'm not texting and driving, i ought to be fine. something tells me that i knew how to avoid this entire fiasco in the first place. perhaps i do thrive on drama? me? never...

so today i'm sitting at home, doing absolutely NOTHING and most days this would just rock my socks except today i'm at home doing absolutely nothing because that's what the department of transportation will allow me to do and i'm watching television. in mass quantities. grease is on tv, and i love that movie. it's especially making me laugh because nigel calls the king bee kenickie, and that name is just funny anyway.

guess what i did yesterday? i applied for jobs. (you must say "hobs", remember? soft "j" this week.) i applied for "hobs" with giant conglomerate soul-sucking companies that want nothing more than warm bodies in cubicles doing drone work; remember that song by beck - "soul suckin jerk?" that's going to be me...

"i got a job making money for the man/throwing chicken in a bucket with a soda pop can/puke green uniform on my back/i had to set it on fire in a vat of chicken fat..."

but first i have to get a "hob" before i can throw down and set shit on fire, yo. so i'm working on it. but i do look cute in green...

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