you've got a lot of nerve

i got the most interesting tidbit of information today, from my mom, of all people.

apparently, there are several things being said in relation to the demise of me and eddy.

apparently, everyone's got the scoop and the "scoop" in one story is related to a close family friend, which just disgusts the hell out of me on several levels. the real truth, the real story, is no where near as interesting as those that are being fabricated, which is why people are making up their own versions of reality.

how fantastic it must be to be delusional on a daily basis!

now i'm not stupid, i know that people are going to talk. and i suppose to some - some that are ignorant and small-minded - this makes for good conversation. the bothersome aspect to this story is that the source is related to a place of significance to both eddy and i, which just goes to show that you just can't trust anyone anywhere anymore. in fact, the more that i think about it, it sort of makes sense. wives and significant others that disappeared from the scene were cussed and discussed just about as much as the previous week's results. sad but true. i know this because i used to partake in such conversations. the difference is that people that i know are still attached to this "place" - so eventually the story runs the gamut and i get to hear. lucky me.

so.

so.

i can't help but assume that a person i thought i could trust, a person that i thought i could talk to, is behind some of this. if not the blatant fabricating of information, then at least the continuation of such slander. it's my fault for opening my mouth, i know, i know, i know. once again, color me stupid. i've been burned on this fallacy more than once, and more than once with this person in particular. nothing is sacred to him, most of all honesty, trust and friendship. so i'm glad that you pushed the delete button before i did; i'd have pushed so hard i pushed my goddamn button through my fucking laptop. overreacting? maybe. speaking before thinking? perhaps. but you fucking deserve it, you loud-mouth motherfucker. i'm done. i'm done. i'm done. now i see why you've been dragging this along for so long. questions here, messages there - all this adds to the drama of which you've made yourself the writer, the creator, the producer. i will no longer be a PUPPET to this show.

you're going to have to find a new story.

one that doesn't involve me.