huh?

so tonight. i'm chatting away and driving home after another super long day. i guess i wasn't really paying attention because before i even knew what i was doing, i was on the old way home, to my old home and not my new home. i guess this means it's not going to be as easy as i was hoping it would. generally i would cut through my old neighborhood on my way to pella, but i couldn't bear the thought of seeing my house, my old house, and knowing that someone else lives there. i'm going to have to face it sooner or later but i don't want to do it right now.

i still haven't called b.e. back. note that b.e. is different than f.e. much different. anyway. i still haven't called him like he asked me to, i'm not sure what my hang up is. much of it can be chalked up to working like crazy in the last couple of days. but i'm also not sure of what will come of communication here, and i'm not sure how i want this to play out. there's a lot of things at stake here - a lot of people to consider. i'm not sure i want any responsibility in this situation, this may be too much too soon. but it could just turn out to be a fun sock-starching affair and who's to say that's such a bad thing? i don't know. i have to call before i can really stress about this too much more.

omg. the bears are 5-0. wtf? when did that happen? where have i been?

ahh well. i'm too tired to think right now. i'm going to bed. i don't have to work until 1500 and then i have two days off, two whole days! yay me! :)