ramblings from 34000 ft

**this post has been edited for clarity and content and to protect the innocent which is always myself. screw you, pal**

so here i am, on my way to ogg. i was supposed to be traveling with my work buddy brent, but weather in ord fucked that up for us this morning. that's no gouda. i've caused serious familial discontent. my mother thinks i'm cheating on my husband. my husband doesn't understand the need for a gay male friend. my female friends completely understand. my father's okay with the whole thing. he's just happy i'm coming to see him. i haven't been to ogg in a couple years, not since earache and i got mauied. i'm excited to be going. i was at first a little nervous about going with brent, but now i'm nervous to be going alone. what am i going to do with no one? i hope i can find something to do. :( i might just lie on the beach for a couple of days. that'd be okay. i have to bring home pineapples. one for todd and kelsi and one for earache. earache was so pissy about the whole thing, i was sort of surprised. i didn't think it would be such a big deal. i tend to underestimate that, kind of like that dj friend of mine in indianola. (what was his name?) i told sue that earache just needs to shut the fuck up becuase i'm bringing his whiny ass a pineapple and if he's not careful i'll put it in his ass. that made me laugh. i wouldn't tell earache that, of course. i'm too nice. he thinks.

i love to watch people travel. it's like being at the state fair, except i can't have beer. usually. when i do, it's even more like being at the state fair because it's just as expensive. i didn't have breakfast this morning, and talking about beer didn't make me hungry, but it did make me realize i didn't have breakfast. the flight attendant knows i'm d2. i didn't get pretzels. everyone else got pretzels. what's up with that preferential treatment? or complete lack thereof? maybe i'll be leaving out of the d terminal in dfw. then i can see rrrrruben! he's the coolest! rrrrruben, you want scuba? [i did leave out of the d terminal but didn't see rrrrruben.]

this paragraph has been deleted due to inappropriate content. mom, quit reading my blog so i can be me, damn it.

people travelling with children i think should be reduced to amtrak. unless it's harper. kids are too noisy. too talkative. don't they know i only got three hours of sleep. whiny little cookie eating bastards. shut the hell up.

people are strange
when you're a stranger
something something ugly
when you're alone
that's going to bother me now.

god damn censors.

i rented a car. i wonder if it's bad to sit at the hula grill all afternoon and drink mai tais and then drive myself back to kihei. probly not cool. they have all those awful guilt-inducing highway signs in ogg. "my daddy works on this highway." "speed kills." it's tough enough just to break the speed limit and get around the tourists, the way i remember it. honestly, i don't know tht i've ever driven. last time we were here, i wasn't old enough to technically rent a car.

i'm trying to cs my saturday shift. if it gets picked up, i may not head out until saturday. if not, i'll leave on friday. if mom keeps acting like the turbo bitch she has been, i may never go home. there's something up her ass, and i'm not sure what it is. i know she's pissed i up and left and she all but told be she thinks i'm cheating on my husband. not all of us want to work 120 hours a week, i don't even want to work 40 hours a week. let me be honest. i just don't want to work period.

dude, henry winkler looks like ass.

this no internet, no myspace, no email, no text msg thing is killing me. it's been like, 12 hours now. i left home more than 12 hours ago. i miss the guy. i miss my pillow. i miss my bed. i'm not even there yet and i'm already whining. what a fucking weenie. i miss earache too. i tried to call him before i left dfw, but didn't get an answer. i told him i'm traveling alone, which ought to perk him up a bit, but who knows. he's just as pissy as me lately.

i do have a headache and i can't find any chapstick. but my lips hurt real bad. i'm hoping i can bootleg some wireless internet from someone in dad's neighborhood later tonight. no internet will kill me. aaaack!!! at least i'll have my cell phone. [there are two somewhat dependable wireless connections that i can bootleg from dad's house... yessss...]

two more hours. one more hour and then we get to fill out the agricultural form. yay!! as far as i know, i'm not importing any fruit, vegetables or animals not indiginous to the state of hawaii. i want to ask for the form in spanish just for kicks, but if i answer the questions wrong will i get arrested? or just searched? it's worth a try, it's been a while since i've been searched anyway. could be entertaining. :)

i was able to sleep on the way to dfw. no sleep this trip. eight long hours with chatty old people all around me. not a bad seat. bulkhead, right behind first class. kinda mean, actually. it's like you can almost reach the fruit, but you're just not tall enough. you know it's ripe and juicy and ready to eat, but it's just beyond reach. we need big ass planes like these in dsm. that would kick ass. i would so work ramp. you could load bags for five hours straight and go home. i'm there. i had to retrieve my bag, my gate checked bag, from the freakin ramp. fucking ron didn't tag it and the gate agent almost wouldn't let me have it. they were almost going to send it to baggage claim, but because i had my badge, i got to enter the dfw sida and retrieve my bag from the rampers. nice. fuck you ron.

i'm getting ready to pick up the ebay business again this summer. i'm not really actively looking for a partner, but i have a feeling i'm being recruited for a partnership. pp (potential parter) seems to think we can both make a lot of money if we both work on this. that may be, but i haven't told him he's going into business with someone who can't even balance her checkbook. i told him i needed financial statements and a business plan. then i told him i was joking. i was. sort of.

i'm going to buy a swimsuit. and then i'm going to big beach. or kaanapali. i'm going to roast for a few hours. i have to find a cat toy. and some pineapples. and some caramacs. i don't need a whole lot of anything else. that's really my plan. sun. reading. beach. sand. tan. flip flops. fruit. mai tais. sunglasses. i love being anonymous. it's a beautiful thing.