the big one

i'm pissed. and granted, most of this is my fault. i have a knack for uncovering things that are often best left alone. but this time, this was innocent. i thought by allowing this person back into my life i was being the better person. i was showing my adult side. i was showing that i was able to reconcile the here and now with the then and gone and merge the two like a lost bag claim. what a fucking joke. where was this fucking emotion six years ago? i was tossed aside six years ago, i was told i was hated. i was lower than shit, i was nothing to him. and now, now, now, now he wants to let me know how much he fucking cared, cares, will forever care. well, you know what? fuck that. fuck you. i guess i didn't grow up. and i'm okay with that.