14 April 2006


I didn't go back to bed. I realized why I'm not getting my paychecks, and really it has nothing to do with giving away all my hours at work. We sign up for direct deposit online, and I entered my checking account info incorrectly. I am such a wanker. And today being Good Friday, well, there's no way to get in touch with payroll. So, at least until Monday, I remain poor. Hopefully, the Tax Refund Fairy will make an appearance sometime soon.

I think wanker is the most underused word in the English language, at least in the lower 48. I know that it's more popular across the pond (in both directions, really). But I didn't know that in addition to acting like a general wanker, I could write like one as well. Fun facts for cocktail parties. That hottie from Oz that is no longer welcome here due to his inability to conceal his inebriated condition (at least behind the wheel of a car) used to say wanker all the time. It was so fucking cute. It's not me that won't allow him back, by far. It's the government. It's like that scene in the Big Lebowski: "Stay outta Malibu Lebowski!" But I don't think anyone threw a coffee cup at his forehead. I hope not, it was a cute forehead. Damn the man. Save the Empire.

I have a wicked cavity. I believe that each and every Cocoa Puff I eat falls into this black hole void of a cavity I have and eats further and further into my jaw, so far that eventually it will make it's way back around my head and into my brain. But do I stop eating Cocoa Puffs? No, as I am cuckoo for them. Wanker.

I must work today, but I'm in no mood. Weird things are going on at the station. Leads are pissy. Subordinates are pissy. Passengers are pissy. Flights are full. Warm weather brings thunderstorms and delays and cancellations and more pissed off people and the circle goes round and round and round and round. For what I'm making, it's not worth it. In about a month - oh holy hell, a month from today - I'll get a neat-o 50-cent raise. Rock on!

I forgot to drop my money last week, and while I realize this is a serious problem, it's not an offense punishable by public humilation or flogging. But ever since, I've been treated like the village idiot and I don't think it's that big a deal, especially since 1) the money was recovered - no harm, no foul; and 2) it was $25 lousy dollars. I would have replaced it myself if I had needed to. They make mountains out of molehills and reduce flaming emergencies to nothing. We're all so out to protect our own asses that no one is seeing the big picture. I like my job, but I don't like it well enough to be treated like shit. At least for an extended period of time. There are so many little cliques it's disgusting, and if you're not kissing the right ass, no favor goes unpunished. I guess that must be how the real world works...?

So the dh came home the other night. Things have been pleasant since then, but I have to admit my head is in the clouds. I can't come down off my personal plateau and get back into the swing of coupledom. I'm all for me and none for us lately, and it will be the bullet that kills my marriage. I don't know how to fix it.

The shindig that's planned for the end of the month in DFW is certainly not helping matters much. Sue and I, as well as the always invisible Ms. MSN have extended invitations to others, such as City Kevin and Country Kevin and Buff Jeff, as well as the other from MKE, in addition to the recently silent KOA Misty and Reba, who we believe is gallavanting somewhere near TPA with a "friend." Our attitudish pal Tihana from Albany may make an appearance, but she's a lot of talk and not so much walk. Most likely, it will end up being the three of us, perhaps City Kevin, only because he's dying to meet Ms. MSN, and of course, RRRRRRuben! Ruben told us that because we were students, he couldn't party with us the times were were in Dallas before. But now that we are no longer students, he told us to look him up whenever we come down. Too cute. I'm torn on the Ruben being gay issue; he's too adorable - I'd like to believe that he's not, but he does dress awfully well. There is a rumor going around that he's spending an awful lot of time with a former student in LaCrosse... a former female student...

But what would I do if the other were to arrive? I have no freaking clue. The entire prospect freaks me out, because I don't know that I can trust myself. The only thing that I can rely on is his ability to control himself in that situation, should the situation arise. That's awful. I'm such a wanker.

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