Fun facts for cocktail parties

There's a skunk outside that's preventing me from opening the windows for the kittnen; he's moderately discombobulated and I completely understand why. The stench was overwhelming and as soon as I began to crank open the window I had to start to crank it shut. He thinks I'm playing mind games with him, and while yes, that's generally the case, today I'm doing it to protect my sensitive stomach. Bleccchh. But it does have me thinking. What a life the kittnen must lead. Leisurely waking whenever he pleases, lying on his owners' chests to ensure that he is fed and watered and groomed, racing about the house, all fat-tailed and crazy-eared after seeing those imaginary predators lurking in the shadows, falling asleep whenever and wherever the idea strikes his fancy. It's a life of luxury and I am part of it only to serve him. Glad I could be of assistance.

It's going to be a dark and dreary day. Rain is forecasted and lots of it - perhaps it will rain out the races tomorrow night and Earache and I can spend those hours looking at each other with nothing to talk about and nothing to do. Hey, don't shoot the messenger, he said it long before I did. On Sunday mornings, after the races, they show a seven-day forecast, and already at that point, he's doing his rain dance. Why he bothers, I'm not sure. I think it just gives him something to worry about all week long - wait, am I talking about the racing or the rain? Hmmm....

I found my sweet little cousin Schmalex on Myspace yesterday; sweet she is not when among her peers. I remember being 15, but I don't remember being stupid enough to publicize my wrongdoings for the world to see. There's a whole new type of terrifying teenager out there - wow, that makes me sound so old - but it's reasons like that that I am never having children. I dig other people's kids and all that jazz, but I am scared shitless of owning them myself. Maybe owning isn't the right word. The right word escapes me presently. You know what I mean. More importantly, I know what I mean, and that's all that matters.

I'm sure I'll be back, I have soooo much planned for today. TV, Cocoa Puffs, TV, napping, Sudoku, TV, brush my teeth, Myspace... not necessarily in that order, but that about covers it. We're in day two of full my mumps coverage. Woohoo!