I'm going to have to build an ark.

Seriously. If it doesn't stop raining soon, we're going to float away. This is the ark I've built. See, that's me, out in the front. No, I'm lying. But seriously, we must have gotten about 46 inches of rain. No, not really, I can't tell, because my rain gauge floated away. No, that's a lie. I don't have a rain gauge. And if I did, I would never attend to it because it belongs outside with the rain and I belong inside where the rain is not. No, that's a lie too, because sometimes I fill the birdfeeder, and it belongs outside. Once about every 17.84 times it needs filled, I'm the gal to fill it. But I'm not keeping track or anything. No that's another lie, because I do keep track. Birdfeeder, trash, toilets, dishwasher, spiders, cat box - those are men's jobs. Once in a while, to make Earache feel insanely guilty and privileged, I'll take out the trash or fill the bird feeder. But it does average out to about once every 17.84 times. Or close to it, I bet, because I wasn't really telling the truth. About keeping track. Everything else was true. Unless I said it wasn't, and then I was telling the truth.

I think.