27 April 2006

My Mumps

No joke. I'm mumpy. I'm one of the 1,121 confirmed or suspected cases of the mumps in the State of Iowa. What an honor, to be such a select part of the population. That's like, less than one percent of the state population. And that's me. Woohoo! I don't have the swelling, thank God. But it still hurts like a mother. My ears hurt, and the spot in front of my ears. It hurts to eat Cocoa Puffs, but I still do it. That's taking one for the home team - I am such a trooper. I have yet to tell our pals across the street, that's going to be a hard conversation to bring up. "Your cute, adorable baby girl? Yeah, I think I may have this awful, disfiguring, contagious disease..."

I have another problem. I am slowly becoming addicted to MySpace. I need to detox. I need days away from my computer, or at least away from MySpace. It's sucking up entirely too much of my time. How do people function with thousands of friends? I don't even have a dozen and it's draining for me...

I'm feeling slightly perturbed this morning, I don't know why. Here's a list of things that are bothering me currently:
* Tony Danza has his own show. This is a fucking joke. He sucks. He's not funny. And you can so obviously tell that he's reading from the cue cards.
* My favorite TV show, The Office, has been in reruns for like a month now. This has been pissing me off for a long time.
* I can't ever get through to the radio station contest. I know the answers; they know I know the answers and when I call they won't pick up because they don't want to give away $1,000!
* Gas is $2.79/gallon. That's fucking ridiculous!!! Congress is thinking about passing a bill that will allow an instant $100 relief to taxpayers, if they can begin drilling up the National Wildlife Reserve in Alaska. Republicans. Grrr.
* My cavity is killing me, yet I continue to eat white bread and Cocoa Puffs. Someone had the nerve to write and ask me if I would consider changing my ways and start eating Cap'n Crunch. It's square and then I would be eating 'square meals'. No freaking way. I dig curves, man. This hostility will not stand, man. You go off and eat your Cap'n Crunch. When the sharp corners of the tiny square nuggets tear through the soft tissue inside your mouth, don't come bleeding and crying to me. I'll be eating an easygoing bowl of Cocoa Puffs, damn it. I fear change and I won't be bullied.

I think that's about it. I dont' know. Since I'll be home for the next 3 to 26 days, I'll probably add to the list of pissers.

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