ugh. sunday night again? where did my weekend go? really, i should be going to bed. i have to be up at the ASS CRACK of dawn tomorrow. no really. the ASS CRACK. i have like three alarms and a wake up call request in just to make sure that my lazy ass gets out of bed in the morning. i don't know what the issue is - i just can't seem to do it. and then i stand in the shower for like 45 minutes - i don't know why. i don't know if i'm sleeping or what, but when i wake up, the whole upper half of the house is foggy and the bar of soap is gone.
so things seem to be going well - work is great, family is great, money is eh, friends are great and then the bf just like fucking freaks out on a weekly fucking basis and i have no idea what to do about it. in all my life, i've never seen anyone act the way he acts. you know how there are times when you want your significant other to show some emotion, to not act like a zombie, to show that they care and that you mean something? ladies, really, quit your complaining. because when they do show emotion, act like (immature) people, show that they care and that you mean something to them, you'll honestly be wishing that he'd just go back to watching football, putting dirty clothes in the hamper and holding the remote control like he fucking owns it.
really. i honestly think that i'd rather do his laundry than resort to the junior high fucking bullshit that came about on friday evening. ugh. rather than relive all the gory details, let me just tell you this: jealousy is all the fun you *think* someone has had (isn't that a great quote?). he doesn't trust me, and maybe with some good reason but not the reasons he has in mind, he doesn't respect my decisions (at least not the ones made in his absence) and there was no one he wouldn't have taken it out on if i, and several others, hadn't stopped him. i've spent a good portion of my weekend apologizing to those people for his behavior; he doesn't remember much of it. but i don't get it. i've never known anyone to be so jealous and really over nothing - or at least what i see as very insignificant. he apologized. i told him i can't deal with that and i won't deal with that. we'll see. in the midst of all that, i hear from mr. mittens himself that he's leaving his wife. which is all i've ever wanted him to say for the last six months. except now i'm not with him; i'm with king bee. and doesn't that just figure?
so my mind is just a mess. the bee and i had a great week, it was awesome. i hung out with he and his family a couple of nights, he came down to see me a couple of nights - it really seemed like progress, like we were finally getting comfortable with one another. and then we have this massive ... setback? outburst? event? and here i am. i don't want to have to babysit my bf. but that's certainly what it felt like saturday morning at 0200. the rest of the weekend was great; but we hung out here, didn't go out hardly at all and avoided the entire friend scene. is that what its going to take?
but that's enough about that. let's talk about something else.
so i think i'm going through a johnny cash phase. all my clothes for work seem to be black. wtf? i'm feeling a little goth, like maybe i should paint my fingernails black and stop washing my hair. what do you think?
speaking of work, my boss wants to give the two of us that don't work on the weekends a blackberry to answer email leads. me and a blackberry on friday and saturday nights. i was telling nigel about this and didn't think much of it until she pointed out that i am one heck of a drunk texter. oh yeah... "yeah, show me your nipples and i'll sell you this car..."
so the other day i was at nigel's house, she was making me dinner. and i was talking to her 9-year-old daughter about these custom made dolls that you can buy that look just like you. they are so dead on, it's like freaky. and they're so expensive, they must be extracting dna from the paperwork you send in. but they won't make scars or cleft chins or anything like that. well i thought it said you couldn't have a doll with a cleft palette, which sort of makes sense, who wants an ugly fucking doll like that? but nigel's daughter didn't know what a cleft palette was, she'd never heard of a harelip - so i had to explain it. by drawing a diagram. where's libbeth when you need her?
i'm getting sick. another bladder infection. this pisses me off.
oh. so i bought and downloaded the new kanye cd. it's the bestest ever. i legally downloaded it because my mom doesn't like people knocking on the door, ever, so i don't think lars from metallica would be a good houseguest.
"yarrrr.... i'm lars.... and you're fucking music pirate."
i need to go to bed. i'm tired.