17 September 2007

here pelican, pelican, pelican...

random thoughts. it's hard to construct a sentence on a monday.

it's a lot of responsibility to be someone's everything.

i'm 27 and i don't own a suit. does that make me less of a person? i have to have my picture taken for work tomorrow and it's been recommended that i wear a dark jacket and a white shirt. i don't own a dark jacket that doesn't have adidas stripes down the sleeves. that and it's supposed to be like 90 degrees tomorrow so i think i'll tell them where they can stick their recommendation.

in their ass.

so king bee. i think i probly overreacted in handling the situation, but i can't shake the visions of domestic-ism that were beginning to appear. i don't want a live-in boyfriend, i don't want to share a house or an apartment, i don't want our laundry to mingle, i don't want him to be comfortable using my remote control or leaving my house at dawn or any of those things. i don't want to feel obligated to any of those things. i don't like the fact that he leaves clothes and soap at my house - doesn't ask, just assumes that it's okay. it probly would be okay if he didn't just do it, you know? i like the guy, i generally enjoy the time we spend together - but the level of seriousness is troublesome. and it's hard to backtrack...

anyway. my phone rang at 0545 this morning; he made sure i was awake because he knows i'm not much of a morning person. i called and left him a message. he called this evening: he doesn't really understand what happened yesterday, he's not going to be around much this week. i don't know. maybe we need to discuss expectations.

but i'll probly have to define expectations before we can discuss them.

and there i go again, being a snotty bitch. wtf is my problem?

so i think i ordered a ppv movie except i can't remember what channel its on and i can't seem to find it being recorded on the dvr so i'm not sure what's going on there. so for the moment i'm watching scarface because i like the part where the dude gets hacked in the shower. ahh, the good old days when you could pack a chainsaw in your suitcase and clear customs with it...

i didn't text message anyone last night after i blogged. i felt guilty enough about the text messaging i did in the afternoon...

i did get some sleep last night. crazy dog left me alone. i wonder if she doesn't like king bee. animals can be perceptive. and then they can just be crazy so who knows.

this movie makes me tense. there has got to be something better on tv... i'm out.

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