me & axl, we just need some patience

i'm pretty sure i am the biggest loser in my fantasy racing league this week. i haven't even checked but i'm pretty darn sure. i'll even go out on a limb here and confirm it - i am the biggest loser in my fantasy racing league. and that would be because i didn't even change my weekly picks. that makes what - four weeks in a row now?

am i really *that* busy? (no.)

is my life *that* hectic? (no.)

nope. i'm just that much of a space case anymore - i have no idea what my problem is. i can't focus on much of anything without seriously straining myself. (ow, i just pulled my brain.)

that, and i'm really, really tired all of the time. right now even - and i slept in until well past 8 o'clock.

it's like an adult case of adhd - self diagnosed, because we all know that self diagnosed disorders are the most fun, right? when i was 9 years old, i read about restless leg syndrome in seventeen magazine. (and what the hell was i doing reading seventeen magazine at age 9, but that's for another day...) and for years i was convinced that i had rls. in fact, sometimes when i can't sleep at night and my feet are all fidgety i *still* think it's my rls kicking in.

hypochondriac much? eh, maybe.

but back to that adhd thing - for real, i might want to look into that. (in fact, reading this makes me worry just a little bit more.)

or it could just be the fact that i'm stressing about things that i have NO control over, none whatsoever. and that just pisses me off because i fear what i can't control. and the more i think about it - it, this thing that's stressing me out - well, it'll either happen or it won't. and either way, it's a good thing if it does and after a while, it's a good thing if it doesn't. so maybe i should just relax and wait and see - which is the advice that i've been given.

(easy advice to give.)

patience, grasshopper, patience.

too bad when god was handing out patience i jumped out of line because the wait was too long...

(i also missed the butt line, but again, that's for another post.)

i have to go to work today. blecch... but my adhd (hehehe...) may be to blame for my inability to get anywhere on time. seriously - "if you have ADD/ADHD, you may be chronically late to work" - it's right there in black and white.

and we all know that everything on the internet is true, right?

indeed.