08 August 2008

productivity is for pussies.

i have to admit, i nearly skipped work today. it's a stupid day to work anyway - a five hour shift starting at 5pm - wtf? and it would have been just as easy to call in - a fake cough here, a little sniffle there generally does the trick. or my personal favorite, the mysterious, "i can't come in" and then hang up. then i have more time to come up with something important/weird/life altering to excuse my absence.

can you tell i've done this a lot in the past? i am the queen of missing work. not that great a title, i realize, but we all have to be good at something, right? i just happen to be good at doing nothing, during which i come up more excuses to keep me idle, so really while i'm doing "nothing" i'm really doing "something" even though it's not particularly productive.

did you get that?

so anyway. i'm at work. i'm actually working - no, for real. they (they being "the man" that looks over my shoulder at my place of work) can't complain that i have not been completing my job duties. because i am rocking this joint this evening. i just happen to be rocking this joint while also doing things that don't really pertain to work: texting, blogging, playing games online. it's a rough life i lead...


i have noticed a trend, and this makes me laugh. when i come to work crabby - i'm better at my job. i'm more argumentative and more likely to harass people into giving me money. which sort of makes sense but then when i leave here, after being crabby all day and crabbing and arguing with customers - then i go home and be crabby too. and *that* sort of defeats the purpose of the whole work as therapy theory.


so my new phone is wonderful. i adore it. the battery doesn't last very long but i can deal. the really great thing is the texting: based on the words that i put in - my phone tries to complete my thoughts and my sentences. like, my phone guessed the word "retarded," which was awesome. but then when i put in "we shouldn't ..." it suggested "drink" when i really was thinking "argue." does my phone think i have a drinking problem? i've never lost it in platteville, dropped it in a toilet or subject it to any of the abuse that i've made other phones suffer on my nights out. this phone is a big whiny sucky baby.

wahh, wahh, wahh...

ugh. i have to pee. i never have to pee as much as i do when i'm at work. only at work do i have to pee every thirty minutes. everywhere else i can hold it like a camel. for real. and at work, i'm really weird about this - but i can't use the first two stalls. i think i watched a 60 minutes or something when i was like 7 years old that said that the first two stalls are the germiest everywhere you go. so i use the third stall. every time. or i don't go.

which is funny, because i'm sure everyone that watched that also avoids the first and second stall and so now we're all using the first stall and now it's the germiest and grimiest of the bunch. but whatever. i chalk it up to my ocd. and that makes me feel better.

i'm going to go pee now.

pee's out.

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