i can't tell if it's raining or snowing. it's snaining. or maybe its rowing. hmm...
i only have a few days of freedom left before the giant corporate conglomerate starts chaining me to a desk and slowly sucking the life out of me on a daily basis, allowing me just a few hours each evening to regenerate enough life fluid to survive. how i adore the banalities of corporate america. it makes me wonder why i have a degree in what i have a degree in, anyway, considering how much i hate "the man" and what "he" stands for.
damn the man. what the fuck was i thinking? i should have been an art major (except i flunked art history 101, baby!) or a history major (but the history channel puts me to sleep) so maybe i just should have skipped college all together and saved myself the money and stress. whatever. it's a little late to decide that now. it's not like i can return my degree.
"hi, i'm not happy with decision or with this debt load. i'd like to return this degree on the grounds that it has been unsatisfactory for me and that i didn't really pay a whole hell a lot of attention anyway. i mean, really, let's not fool ourselves here - you and i both know that i only attended class on days that were absolutely necessary and sometimes not even then. yeah. check that shit. i'll wait. yeah, seriously, what were you thinking, letting me graduate? i'm not a very good representative of your school. you should take this shit away on general principle alone, man. no, my feelings aren't hurt. well, maybe a little. now what am i going to tell people i've been doing for the last 8 years of my life? fuck. well, that's my problem, not yours. okay, yeah, so can i get a receipt for this? awesome..."
that's so not going to happen.
today was therapy day. no one cried, no one yelled or screamed or made an ass out of themselves. i didn't have to drag him in and he didn't run out midsession - i consider that a personal victory. i think we both learned a little bit about each other - our emotional needs and how we think the other is fulfilling them. some of the discussion was interesting, it got a little tense in a couple spots, but nothing we couldn't talk our way out of. and i don't think he completely disliked my therapist but he wasn't completely comfortable with her, either. normal i guess - who wants to talk about their sex life in front of a total stranger? i can't blame him for that. but we'll see if we apply what we've learned to every day life, that's the hard part. i'll keep you posted.
i have stuff on ebay. did i tell you that? i have a few things to ship so after i leave panera i have to go to the post office. in the snow. i hate snow. actually i don't hate snow i just hate snow in april. because i've already started wearing slippas and once i start wearing slippas i can't stop wearing slippas because then i feel like a poser and who wants to feel like a poser?
i'm just rambling here, because i have nothing else to do today. if i go home, i'll want to read a book and i'm not starting any more books until i finish pride and prejudice and i may just hang myself from the shower curtain rod before i actually finish that freaking nightmare. ugh. what in the world was i thinking? i have all these books i want to read and this one book that's holding me up. although, now that i have found the footnotes it's going a little bit faster. and who in the world puts all the footnotes at the END of the book? that's just dumb. that's upsetting me greatly.
i have to go play fantasy nascar now. i have a first place lead to extend.
the snow is starting to stick. yuckity yuck yuck yuck....