21 April 2010

Closing the door and throwing away the key

The last couple weeks have been challenging for me. Don't get me wrong - life at the moment is good: Brodie is amazing and the Bee is happily back to work. I lead a chamed life - I get to stay home and raise my baby and prepare for my next child to be born - lots of people would love to be in my situation and I'm honestly very grateful for what I have.

All that said, I came across some news that shocked and saddened me. I can't decide if it's wise to share it here, the conflict I'm feeling leads me to believe that I should keep it to myself so I think that's the best route. However, I can say that it left me feeling more than a little hurt and wondering why I wasn't good enough to be put in that position, to be offered those chances, to be that person. I know that everything happens for a reason, that God sees more than I'll ever know and in the big picture (to which I'll never be completely privy) it will all make sense. But I was more than a little stunned. I suppose it's part of the process of healing and moving on; I think the psychological term is "closure." And now I guess I've acheived closure... or it's been achieved for me.

I'm okay with that. I've (obviously) moved on  my life is good. I'm not the only one that deserves to be happy.

And in the very remote chance that you ever see this, congratulations. I think you'll find this opens your heart more than you ever imagined - I'm truly happy for you. You deserve it.

2 comments:

Jamie said...

So proud of you. :)

ToryB_He231147 said...

Nice Post~!!!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .