Monday musings - the married edition

Well, we did it. The Bee and I got married last Friday afternoon and I am now officially Mrs. Bee. Scary, isn't it? A couple days beforehand, the Bee asked me if I was nervous and I was all nonchalant about it: "No worries here." And then about 90 minutes before we were scheduled to stand in front of the judge, I had a small nervous breakdown in the bathroom while trying to tie the Bee's tie and nearly hyperventilated.

I'm not sure why, really. I could blame it on hormones. I could blame it on the fact that it was about 412 degrees outside with 942 percent humidity (I'm not making that up; it was freaking miserable). Or that I was stuffed into a dress that was inching shorter by the hour due to my ever-growing baby belly and that I looked like a big bloated Dalmatian while sporting the updo redux from prom '97 and legs so white they bordered on clear. Those are all excellent reasons to hyperventilate and throw a small tantrum ("Tie your own tie, you don't even need a tie, I told you that you didn't have to wear one! Wahhhhhhh..."). But I think the biggest reason for my meltdown was just letting my emotions get the better of me. If you've been a reader for any length of time or even if you just know the Bee and I and the bullshit we put each other through (not to mention those around us), then you know that this was a big decision for both of us. With the beginning we had and the path we've walked, I don't think anyone expected much from us and sadly we were two of our biggest doubters. All that said, I think the decision was made for the right reasons and I think we're both happy with it. He calls me "Wiff" and I call him "Hubs." Gag you with a spoon, what? I'm happy with it.

And that is that. :)

I think I'm getting a cold. My head is feeling a little swimmy and I have a sore throat. I'd like to go back to bed but Brodie seems to think that's a bad idea.

I found an amazing recipe for Key Lime Cupcakes yesterday. (Well, technically I can't say that I found it; it appeared to me in Google Reader.) I was all gung ho to make cupcakes this afternoon and then I remembered that I've already packed all my cupcake pans and most of my bowls too. And since I refuse to unpack anything until we're moved, I guess I'm just going to have to suffer. I've kind of been on a cupcake kick lately. Cupcakes are sort of the personal pan pizza of the dessert world - one of everybody's favorite foods in a size that allows you to be greedy enough not to share.

If you have a Blogger blog, you probably have the "Monetize" tab at the top of your screen too. I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to click on "Monetize" and commercialize this baby to the max. Ads here, ads there, ads everywhere. But I feel guilty, selling out my readers (all seven of you) and making you endure ads for cupcake pans and maternity clothes (which would be the relevant topics from today's post) just so I can make $0.000062 for every click you accidentally make. So I refrain. For now. In the future I may decide that your continued support is worth 62-bazillionths of a cent and sell you to Google Ads. Don't be shocked.

I have a million things I need to be doing and blogging is actually not on my list of things to do. I'm just sitting here babbling so that I feel like I'm being productive when really I'm not. So I'm going to leave you with a couple videos. The first one just disturbs me but makes me giggle and the second is Brodie's (current) favorite thing to watch on the computer. (I find myself humming this all the time now; it's kind of annoying.)

Happy day!

All aboard the train of thought...

I think I would blog more often if I didn't suffer from such a short attention span. I have all these great ideas and I either forget them before I get to Blogger or I can't think of a way to turn it into a whole blog post. So I end up not writing at all and that is a big, blog FAIL. So instead of entertaining you with a single topic, I'm just going to talk. I blog I read calls this "stream of consciousness" writing. But I don't want to a be a complete thief, so I'm going to ask you to ride along on my train of thought.

Here we go...

This week, I become Mrs. Bee. For reals! A day I thought would never arrive, as recently as just a couple days ago, and it's coming up on Friday. The plan, you ask? Well, because we both strive to be as complicated as possible, we're having a small civil ceremony at the courthouse on Friday and then in a year (because next year, June 11 will be on a Saturday) we'll have a more traditional ceremony. The Bee has stated he would prefer a real wedding as opposed to the court-imposed variety we're partaking in this week; but in the last couple days he's said that he thinks we should renew our vows in Vegas and screw what everyone else thinks. I've had to restrain myself from pointing out that "everyone else" is really just "him" but whatever. So Friday, if you're in downtown Des Moines and you see a huge and uncomfortable preggo chick in an obnoxious black and white polka dot dress entering the courthouse, fear not - it's just me and you should do what everyone should do for someone that's getting hitched: offer your condolences and then offer money. Because that's just polite.

I kid, I kid. About the condolences, anyway. Money is always a good idea.

We have Netflix for our Wii. It's a great invention; I can find tons of kids shows to keep Brodie entertained when I'm off doing something uber-important, like scouring the pantry for candy that I've hidden from the Bee. And we can watch all sorts of movies, stuff we like, stuff we missed - not a lot of brand new stuff but that's what the Redbox is for. The drawback to the Wii is that a lot of the non-kid movies are the B-, C-, even D-grade flicks that didn't get any sort of hurrah upon release because, let's face it, they didn't deserve any because they SUCK. And what kind of movies does the Bee prefer? The movies that SUCK. Like right now, we're watching some crap about the Red Baron, who apparently had a massive head injury - his only endearing quality if you ask me. I happen to like the Snoopy version of the Red Baron much more, but my voice goes unheard if the movie has anything to do with war, guns, airplanes, military, boobs or Sylvester Stallone. Or any combination of these things. I do have to say that "The Red Baron" is a much better flick than "Ghost in a Teeny Weeny Bikini" and yes, that's a real movie and I'm not making that up.

We're moving at the end of the month. Have I mentioned how much I hate moving? Not recently; at least not for a year and a half but my feelings haven't changed.

Top ten things the Janel hates:

1. Creepy crawlies, spiders in particular.
2. Fish & peas, ughhh... (I like fish and I like peas, I just don't like them together.)
3. People who think it's okay to wear navy blue and black together. (Come on, you look like a freaking bruise.)
4. Baby snot. (I can handle all the other bodily functions but snot grosses me out.)
5. Brussel sprouts. (It's the snot-like consistency that I abhor; see above.)
6. Moving.
7. Green Jell-o. (Think snot; see #4.)
8. Dirty fingernails.
9. The US Postal Service. (Not the Postal Service the band, they're okay.)
10. Supermarket cashiers that read all the fine print on a coupon before they scan it. (Yes, I will argue over 50 cents. Try me, you stingy bastards.)

(This list is not all-inclusive nor is it an "all-time" list. This is what's on my mind. Tomorrow it will be different.)

Anyway, see? Moving rates between Brussel sprouts and green Jell-o. And that's not a good place to be. But we're moving from Ankeny to Polk City, which kind of seems backwards to me. We both like the place and it's more room for babies and Pootie and the Bee. I'm a tad concerned with the fact that there is no grocery store in Polk City but I suppose that will make me more efficient at grocery shopping and preparation. Or it will frustrate me on a regular basis when I find myself driving to Ankeny because I forgot something important, like Goldfish crackers or hair color.

I think that's all I have for now. I'm kind of tired. And I have apple dumplings to eat. (I made The Pioneer Woman's Apple Dumplings tonight and they are all sorts of AMAZING.) We're out of ice cream but I'll suffer and eat them plain because I'm a team player. YUM.