you hold him down, i'll shoot him with his own bow and arrow...

yay! its 0005, meaning that vd is over and i can move on with my life. a friend turned me on to calling it 'single awareness day' but when you abbreviate that, it's still 'sad.' fuck that.

so. i acted on the previous incident. would you like the grisly details? i guess if you don't, you can just skip to the next section. last night, out and about in the raging metropolis that is east dbq, i was with a group of people that included the gran massa and one of his friends, justine and a couple other people i don't know, which doesn't really mean anything because i only know like five people here and i think four of them hate me. but that's not the point of this.

drinks were consumed. i was sitting by this really interesting fellow who thought i was amazing. at least he didn't talk about my eyes. barf. anyway. more drinks. fun to be had by all. the sad thing is, i don't even remember any of this - i'm telling this story as a collection of stories told to me by innocent bystanders. anyway, as the story goes, horseplay at the bar. my finger, justine's eye. his contact falls out.

his perfectly reasonable response to this?

he hauls off and slaps the holy shit out of me.

no kidding. his hand, the left side of my face, direct fucking contact. i was so fucking shocked i couldn't even move. and then i guess i sort of came to and i heard a bit of a commotion as he was asked to leave. or maybe he volunteered, i'm really not sure.

i know people asked if i was okay. i wasn't, but i wasn't going to admit that. it was more of a blow to my ego at the time. i've never been hit - by a guy - in public like that. so naturally, what do i do? i completely come to my senses and decide i'm going to take him on and anyone else who gets in my way. except he's nowhere to be found and this is prolly a good thing.

i get taken home. i sleep. i get up. i have a knot in my stomach all day. ALL DAY. i haven't eaten. my hands are still shaking. i'm disgusted with the entire situation.

really - what kind of person does that? who does he think he is? what makes it alright for someone to assault me? and honest to god, if i'd been spastic at the mouth or mocking him, i could at least understand it. just a little bit - it wouldn't make it better, but it would *almost* make sense.

so tonight. after my drive to msn and half a cheeseburger and a fish purchase (bruiser, how fucking appropriate), i decided to file a police report. i go to the edbq pd and let them photograph my face and this nice blue streak along my jaw about 47 different ways.i have to fill out paperwork. i have to write a formal statement. i have to actually write the statement, 'i am filing this complaint because justine assaulted me. i would like him prosecuted for this action.'

humiliating.

so where does this go from here? investigation (their words, not mine. it's csi: edbq!), paperwork, warrant. look out buddy. :)

i'm tired and i need to ice my face. do we have any peas?

i was bound for mexico

i saw the stupidist sign today. it said "free complimentary bottled water." ummm.... yeah.

i love csi: miami. i've mentioned this before. it's on right now. there's this giant murdering south american snake that they're chasing. it's grossing me out but i can't stop watching. it's so awful and so icky and i'm drawn to it. ugh.

tomorrow is my friday. thank god. it's been a dreary week, filled with the drama that surrounds our little american clique. divorce (not mine, either) and fights and breakups and anniversaries and subpeonas and christmas decorations. the place is teeming with hullabaloo. sometimes it's just nice to get away, even if it's just for a day or two.

i had the most retarded dream ever last night - so dumb i'm even embarressed to recant it here. it involved a lot of hair. that's all i can say. it was soooo dumb, and i was so glad to wake up to find out that i wasn't covered in hair. whew. :)

walnuts is trying to communicate with me further. i haven't talked to him since saturday, or was it sunday? i don't remember. but he's messaged me every day since then and so far, i haven't responded. i'm not sure why, but i don't trust him this time around. i don't want to get close. but maybe it's not just him, maybe i just don't want to get close to anyone. regardless, i still don't trust him right now.

i'm tired. and i can't bear to watch csi right now, david caruso or not. i think i'm going to go to bed.

g'nite.

no more fart noises, please.

my computer just like wacked out. i was trying to type an apostrophe and everytime i'd push the apostrophe key, it would make this weird farting noise. not my computer, but mozilla. this weird little box would flash and it would fart. how fucking weird is that. hmm. well, i restarted and now i can apostrophe to me lil' heart's content. yippee!

so. the news for the day is:

****i'm going to cancun!****

did you notice the apostrophe? no fart noises. rock. but yeah. i decided, fuck it. dolly's only going to be 21 once and i need a break. so i'm going to go to cancun and drink myself stupid on the beach. or wherever the group goes. something about her and sue and a few ua peeps from msn. whatever. give me some sun and some sand and a mai tai and i am soooo ready to go with the flow. i've got my days at work covered and i've got a bunch of shit to sell on ebay to make the money i'll spend while i'm down there. rock the hell on. this will be fun. we'll meet in dfw on the 26th and come home on the 29th. just long enough to get a sunburn and a veneral disease. only kidding. vd does not a good souvenir make.

i told my mom i was going to cun, i thought for sure she'd be upset and tell me my priorities are out of order. in fact, it was quite the opposite. she was telling me i needed to go and i was the one saying it's just not responsible. well fuck responsible. i'll figure something out. i always do. i want to go and i deserve to go. i haven't seen sue or dolly for months and months. and i do love the ocean. the resort is all-inclusive. fun, fun, fun.

so. i have a ton of longaberger stuff to sell on ebay. do you want to buy a basket? i have lots of baskets. and i'm not selling even half of them...yet. baskets and clothes and crap. would you like to buy some crap? i wanted to get stuff listed tonight but it's not going to happen. so instead i'll get all my photos ready and take measurements for my descriptions and get ready to list tomorrow night. crap... crap for sale...

so there's all these new people at work since nwa got outsourced. and 90 percent of them are retarded. not like officially retarded, but pretty freaking stupid. there are these stickers on the doors that say push to open. because right next to the door there's a green 'exit' button. (no fart noises there either.) you push the green button to get the door to unlock so you can pull it open. but i guess if you're retarded that's hard to comprehend. some chick got stuck on the back side of baggage claim because she was pushing on the door and couldn't get out. and then apparently she had a genius moment because she did eventually reappear. "i don't know why that door says push to open... you have to pull on that door to get out." hmmm... i would think they'd have a minimum iq requirement to work that sort of job but maybe not. do you have a pulse? perfect! you're hired!

the kitties are getting along beautifully. now they lick each other's faces and then bite the holy hell out of each other. it's sweet. no, seriously, they get along okay. they do like to play at ungodly hours, though, like 0300. and 0530. crazy bastards.

i'm infatuated with csi:miami because i'm in love with david caruso. sometimes the entire show has a yellow tint to it; but i wonder if that's not my tv. or maybe miami is so much closer to the equator than iowa that the rays from the sun absorb the color from the surrounding sand and disney world and it reflects as yellow instead of white. maybe not. i don't know.

isn't he cute? i love the way he talks. plus, the old csi have rory cochrane in them. ahhh yes... lucas. yum!

finally, i get to go to a dildo party. finally. heather's having one tomorrow night and i don't have to work late. in fact, i may try to leave a little early to get there on time. i need all the dildo time i can get. :) i've missed all the other ones, so i'm looking forward to going.

nigel and i are going drinking on friday night. rock on. bob's going to some ultimate fighting thing or something, i can't remember. he told me about it last weekend. this saturday is the last day the ice cream store is open until next march. i'm sad. where will i go for ice cream now? paying for it just doesn't seem quite right and i doubt hyvee is just going to let me have ice cream. so we're drinking in honor of the whippy dip closing. and whatever else comes to mind. perhaps i'll call blue eyes to see if he can get a babysitter and some free time... maybe not. i don't know. i haven't talked to him in over a month. i just never called. god, i sound like a dude. that's just not right; there's something wrong with me.

i applied for another job at hdq. another tariff job. i hear that the powers that be are a teenie-weenie bit upset with me because they want to give me more responsibility and i keep trying to get out of the station. jesus, who wouldn't want to get out of there? its fucking depressing. we're all miserable, the bond that ties is that we're all miserable about the same thing. but we're all so spoiled with our travel benefits that no one wants to leave. i'm sure it won't go anywhere, this application i've submitted, but you never know. i'll never get out if i don't try. i could live in dfw. that'd be okay.

okay. csi is on. i'm going for now. ta-ta.