no more sleepy sleepy!

no middle-of-the-night text messages last night; i was finally able to get some sleep. but my dreams were just as bad, if not worse, than the text messages lately - i can't win! all i want is some uninterrupted, (bad) dream-free sleep!

i dreamt that the bee had already found someone new and that he brought her to our apartment. for what i don't know. i know their plans included watching tv and making some weird-ass casserole that included rice and stir-fry beef. wtf? but she was just as condescending and negative as he can be; they seemed perfect for each other, only exception being I WAS STILL THERE. and of course, as any janel bad dream, it included spiders and grasshoppers and all sorts of gross creepy-crawlies. the whole thing just gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it.

so in all my emotional haze, i've forgotten to mention one very important happening in my life in the last week. ANDY FALES CAME BACK FROM KC! woohoo! take that eddy! my all-time favorite sportscaster in the whole wide world - i knew he'd be back, i just knew it. and now i can't wait to watch the news, i gotta have my andy fales. yay! i was hoping he'd drag back gary amble, my all-time favorite meteorologist from kansas city too - he defected to kc years and years ago. but to no avail. but that's okay. i've survived with ed wilson this long, life will go on, i'm sure... :)

in the last week or so, i've noticed that my clothes aren't starting to fit. WTF? i'm not 26 weeks along, i'm not third-trimester, i'm only eight weeks into this! I'M ONLY ONE-FIFTH THROUGH THIS AND ALREADY MY CLOTHES DON'T FIT! OMG! i'm going to be as big as a house, i can see it now. i'm going to have to trade in my car for a semi with a driver. we're going to have to move to a place with 15-foot ceilings, just to accomodate my stomach. and i'm going to have to resort to wearing muu-muus and tarps because my belly is already not fitting into my own shirts! OMF(reaking, mom, freaking)G! so my brother, who is like half a foot taller than i am, brought me t-shirts yesterday. which is incredibly sweet and nice and they're all seven feet in length and they go to my knees, but i'm not complaining. it's just nice not to look like yard dog anymore.

oh, i talked to libbeth yesterday. i miss her and her family. have i mentioned that she is also pregnant? she's due april 19, so she's what 24? 26 weeks along? i can't remember what she said and i can't wrap my head around the math this morning. she's doing pretty well, but this is her fourth baby and she says it definitely feels like the fourth baby. i can't even imagine. i don't know how she does it, but she's got a great husband (even if he won't help her take down the christmas tree until 26jan...) and they seem to have a rhythm to the whole family dynamic. she can sympathize with my night sickness and my (temporary?) craziness. it's just good to hear from her, the things she says just make sense. it's kind of like talking to my mom, except with a southern accent, lol...

have i told you that i don't have morning sickness? woohoo! nope, instead i get crazy awful terrible nausea at night and i can't throw up. i keep thinkin that if i did throw up, i'd get some sort of relief but then i think about it and throwing up is all around pretty sucky too. so i keep some ginger ale in the fridge and some oyster crackers in the bedroom, or some pre-wrapped saltines from the whippy dip next to the bed, depending on where i am. and i take the pre-natal vitamin with really, really, really cold water and i hope for the best.

ahhh, daylight. the sun rises, the day begins and so do the text messages. this boy is so predictable - is that a good thing or a bad thing? and do we work it out or do we call it quits? do i take him to the doctor with me tomorrow or do i go alone? why isn't my crystal ball working?

i don't know. but i have to go eat some breakfast (or some something) and take a shower and get ready for the day. i'll keep you posted...

here pelican, pelican, pelican...

random thoughts. it's hard to construct a sentence on a monday.

it's a lot of responsibility to be someone's everything.

i'm 27 and i don't own a suit. does that make me less of a person? i have to have my picture taken for work tomorrow and it's been recommended that i wear a dark jacket and a white shirt. i don't own a dark jacket that doesn't have adidas stripes down the sleeves. that and it's supposed to be like 90 degrees tomorrow so i think i'll tell them where they can stick their recommendation.

in their ass.

so king bee. i think i probly overreacted in handling the situation, but i can't shake the visions of domestic-ism that were beginning to appear. i don't want a live-in boyfriend, i don't want to share a house or an apartment, i don't want our laundry to mingle, i don't want him to be comfortable using my remote control or leaving my house at dawn or any of those things. i don't want to feel obligated to any of those things. i don't like the fact that he leaves clothes and soap at my house - doesn't ask, just assumes that it's okay. it probly would be okay if he didn't just do it, you know? i like the guy, i generally enjoy the time we spend together - but the level of seriousness is troublesome. and it's hard to backtrack...

anyway. my phone rang at 0545 this morning; he made sure i was awake because he knows i'm not much of a morning person. i called and left him a message. he called this evening: he doesn't really understand what happened yesterday, he's not going to be around much this week. i don't know. maybe we need to discuss expectations.

but i'll probly have to define expectations before we can discuss them.

and there i go again, being a snotty bitch. wtf is my problem?

so i think i ordered a ppv movie except i can't remember what channel its on and i can't seem to find it being recorded on the dvr so i'm not sure what's going on there. so for the moment i'm watching scarface because i like the part where the dude gets hacked in the shower. ahh, the good old days when you could pack a chainsaw in your suitcase and clear customs with it...

i didn't text message anyone last night after i blogged. i felt guilty enough about the text messaging i did in the afternoon...

i did get some sleep last night. crazy dog left me alone. i wonder if she doesn't like king bee. animals can be perceptive. and then they can just be crazy so who knows.

this movie makes me tense. there has got to be something better on tv... i'm out.

no commercials, no mercy!

i'm short on time, so here are the updates:

• in an apparent fit of randomness, i got propositioned via text message this afternoon. it made me laugh. that was probably not the response sought by the sender.
• so far, crazy dog has not eaten my kittehs. my dad put a lock on the door, which is activated from the outside. i can see where this could lead, janel and the kittehs locked in our bedroom. additionally, they've placed their laundry basket outside the door to keep crazy dog from gnawing away the carpet. at first i thought they just wanted me to do the laundry.
• i got the call from the peace corps. yup, i'm one step closer to living in a mud hut in the depths of africa, showing the locals how to send email and write resumes.
• i'm still contemplating a dinner invitation. so far, i have not returned the phone call.
• i broke my mom's computer and her australian clock and we're only on day three.

that about covers it for now. i'll write more in a little bit when i have more time.

love, superjanel