240 dollars worth of puddin' is a lot of puddin'

this is going to be a good day.

regardless of my mood last night, this is going to be a good day. i work 6.5 hours and then i'm off for 10 days. perhaps i'll go on vacation somewhere, perhaps i'll stay home and sling ice cream and pick tulips, perhaps i'll go camping and perhaps i'll just loaf.

this is going to be a good day.

i mean, any day that starts off with a buttload of pudding and soda has to be a good day, right?

oh yeah... the breakfast of champions. :)

i'm sort of hungry for coleslaw.

(there's no joke there, it's just true.)

i hate cabbage in all forms except for coleslaw. and i'm pretty picky about the coleslaw i'll eat. like kfc? no freakin' way. that crap comes in 10 gallon buckets. but like homemade slaw they serve in country bumpkin restaraunts - yeah, that shit is yummy.

and i want some. i need to find someone to go eat coleslaw with me.

any takers?

yesterday was a good day. i attended both of my appointments and left feeling hopeful. the first was nothing more than paperwork and getting ready for the actual appointment - which will come in about two weeks - but it's almost like a weight was taken off my shoulders just admitting that there may be an issue there, you know? i feel better just getting it all out in the open. and i supposed that's part of resolution, but it's not one that i'm good at, generally speaking.

so yesterday was good.

yesterday was also practice night at the hallowed half mile. i know, i know, i hated it when i was with you - but there's something so familiar about the place and the people and the atmosphere (and that fucking smell, i can't get that out of my head) that i had to go back and see it just once more. i saw and talked to people i knew and i even dragged along the gran massa - and i still felt very alone in attending. it was a strange feeling. i don't know if i'll go back. perhaps that trip will have cured me.

but i doubt it.

see, i don't want to be one of those discarded people that are shunned from the scene. and i don't want to be a groupie. i don't really know what the purpose of the visit was except that it felt very normal.

and i'm seeking normalcy in any form right now.

i will tell you that i enjoyed it. the sights, the sounds, the smells (omg, the smell) - it just seemed right.

today, i'm posting from the raging metropolis of corydon. i'm home with the folks. while strange there is a tinge of normal to this as well. tomorrow night i'll return to dbq and regular life, but i needed a break, time to breathe, time to think.

for now i'm going to head up to the garage and see what's shakin'. there may be ice cream in my future this afternoon, i'm not sure.

the art of progress.

i'm not so great at asking for help. but i did it. there are things i can't fix on my own and i've been told that a smart person realizes this and knows that there is no shame in asking for assistance.

it doesn't feel that way but i can see what you mean.

today is going to be a better day. first off, the sun is shining and that always does wonders to help my mood. i get to go get my phone and then my bright and shiny new phone should be knocking on the door anytime now. that's a good thing. i'm a little nervous about this appointment this morning but it's all in the name of getting things back on track so that's a good thing too. my next appointment this afternoon should be better - my affect is much improved since yesterday. i'm not as dramatic and i'm not crying; this can only be better.

and then i'm going home for the weekend. much to my chagrin (and to the irritation of my place of employment) i think a weekend away from dbq will do me some good. not that anything exciting is taking place back home but it will be quiet and normal.

and i can watch the sopranos. :)

but i have to get ready to go now.